


Indifference

by HGLowlife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Dubious Consent, M/M, Multi, and gay sex, i just really love snk ok, i think there's some smut in there somewhere, maybe some fluff along the lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-20
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:16:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1011751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HGLowlife/pseuds/HGLowlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren is an emotionless delinquent, but when he enters his last year of high school he is intrigued by his new teacher, Levi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eren

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wrote another Ereri thing, I hope you guys like it. Sorry about always pairing Eren with random girls, I can't seem to shake the habit. I don't know why I do it, really. 
> 
> The first chapter is just a prologue, I guess. Don't know how many chapters there are gonna be, but I know exactly where I want to go with this. It makes me kind of excited so.
> 
> 2016 EDIT: So I'm two years into writing school and I went back and read this thing, realised all those awful mistakes I made way back, and decided to do something about them. I've spent a bit of time doing some proper editing so the structure is a lot better, changed a few things here and there, and all in all just tried to improve this fic. It's no masterpiece but much more readable now imo. Hope you all enjoy it.

I leaned back against the brick wall and looked up between the buildings at the cerulean sky. I had a cigarette placed between my index and middle fingers, and I brought it up to my mouth. I pulled a lighter from my pocket and inhaled as I held the flame over the tip of the cigarette. I blew out the smoke with great force, then took another drag, slower this time. 

It was all so fucking _pointless_. Why the fuck would I want to wake up at an unreasonably early time to go back to a place filled with hormonal teenagers, fed up teachers, and people I generally didn’t get along with or even like? Why would I sit there day in and day out, listen to boring lectures, and pretend that I was taking some sort of interest in what I was hearing, trying to please the teachers enough to get me a better grade? Why would I write essays on books and historical events I didn’t care about? I had no intention of being told what to do every day for another year. Of course I wasn’t going back to school tomorrow morning.

But it wasn’t just school either. My entire existence seemed like it lacked purpose. Yeah, sure I could get a nine to five job, spend money and save up until I could afford a house, get married to some girl, have lots of kids, and spend my Sunday’s at uncle Hannes’ birthday party getting drunk off my ass cause I had nothing better to do. And then one day I would die, without really knowing what I lived for. 

There were other options, too. I could try my luck as an artist, drawing or writing or whatever, but I was sure I would suck at it. I didn’t have a creative soul. I could always become a monk or a priest, and spend my life in a monastery, raising homeless children (what an admirable life that would have been). Sorry, not religious, not even close. I could start a band, but I didn’t play any instrument and I wasn’t sure I could even sing. I never tried. I could marry some rich bastard, but if it was that easy, wouldn’t everyone be doing it? I could take to the streets, sell my body or sell drugs. I could do anything, really. 

I had to decide on something, some day, sometime soon. It’s not like I wished to depend on my damn parents for the rest of my life. Would they even continue to provide for me and let me live under their roof if I didn’t figure anything out? My father had already threatened to kick me out, but I knew my mother was protective over me. She wouldn’t let that happen. At least as long as she didn’t know how fucked up things really were. They knew about school and my rebellious behaviour, but if they learned about the drinking and the drugs and the sex, they’d freak out for sure. Maybe even disown me. Yeah, I definitely had to figure something out soon. But not today, I decided. Another day.

As I stood there, calmly and sarcastically thinking of these things, I thought about the positive things in my life as well. I had Mikasa. Even though we didn’t hang out that often anymore, I still liked her a lot, and I was proud of her. I also knew that she would never abandon me, even if our parents did. She was my favourite person. It crossed my mind that I could probably move in with her in the future, but then I remembered she was going to university, and would most likely be staying in halls.

Then there was Armin. He would still hang around me on those rare occasions I showed up at school, and it occurred to me not for the first time that he might have felt like he owed it to me. Because we were childhood friends, and he was pretty much the only friend I had as a kid, before my parents adopted Mikasa.

I also had Annie. She was alright. She was already in university, she was pretty, and good in bed. Sometimes, more often than not, she was also in possession of some decent weed. I stayed at her place sometimes. She had a flat mate, Reiner, and he was alright too. We hung out, often with Bertolt, got high or drunk, watched movies, played video games, and fooled around. It wasn’t bad. It was better than school anyway. Better than home too, where I was always suffocated by my mother or yelled at by my father. 

I’d spent most of my summer at Annie’s, and it was not unnoticed by my parents. They didn’t want me to go there so often, probably because they thought it would affect my school performance. They thought she was a bad influence, and told me I should break up with her. I kept telling them she wasn’t my girlfriend, and that she didn’t create any problems for me. They never listened.

My cigarette had reached its end, so I pulled up the sleeve on my left arm, and put it out on my forearm. It stung like a bitch, but I focused on the adrenaline that shot though my body. Annie used to laugh about it and say I was weird.

It wasn’t that I was depressed or anything, because that wasn’t the case at all. I was perfectly fine with existing. I was perfectly fine with the way my life was. I didn’t mind it, it could have been plenty of worse. I could have lived like this forever, but I was mature enough to understand that that was not the way the world worked. Which is why I _tried_ thinking about my future, but in all honesty, I hated it. I hated the pressure and the expectations. I didn’t hate my life.

I flicked the cigarette stub away and watched as the sky turned pink in the horizon. I didn’t hate my life, I was just bored. Agonisingly bored. 


	2. Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I don't know how many of you readers are actually American, but I'll just tell you this anyway: I'm from Europe, where in most countries the legal drinking age is 18, so that's what it is in my fics. I just felt the need to mention it cause I've read so many fics written by Americans and characters like Eren can't drink but yeah he's old enough in this fic so. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this.

“Good luck on your first day,” Erwin Smith said with a massive grin on his face, and slapped me hard on my back. “You’ll do great!” 

“I’m sure they’ll love me,” I murmured sarcastically. It was indeed my first day in my new job at a new school. I had been working as a teacher for the past 5 years, and I asked myself every day why on Earth I had chosen this occupation. It wasn’t too bad, the pay was alright and I got to boss brats around, but they really weren’t that interesting. Teenagers today were so caught up in their lives, the meaningless drama, and their smart phones, that very few of them took their education seriously. And not to mention how unstable these kids were. One moment they seemed fine and the next they would be yelling at each other while crying and storming out of the room. It was ridiculous.

I silently wished I had chosen to teach at university instead of high school, but that would require me to do another 2-3 years in order to attain a PhD. And I certainly wasn’t going to put myself back in school, _that_ would be preposterous. 

As I walked down the hallways of my new workplace, I asked myself if I felt nervous at all. I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t afraid of the students or anything, but I almost expected them to dislike me right away, because of my personality and teaching style. At my previous job, most of them had at first. But since I taught the same class for three years, they grew accustomed to me. I was happy about that, but then of course, they all graduated, and I had to start all over again. And since I had chosen to move cities at the same time, I was “lucky” enough to end up as a homeroom teacher for a senior class. 

And seniors were always the worst. First-years were fine, they were nervous and insecure, and didn’t dare oppose the higher authority. Second-years were a little less fine, but still manageable. They were the ones who experimented the most, and went through existential crises, made most of the drama, and cared the least about school. But third-years, they were on a whole new level. Being in their last year of school, they were sick and tired. They craved freedom more than anyone, and would do all in their power to obtain it. They had nothing to lose. They rebelled and protested against the system, they were young politicians, thinking they could make a difference in the world. They were old enough to drink, so they partied like there was no tomorrow. They treated themselves as young adults, thinking they could do whatever they wanted to. In addition to all of this, they also expected the most out of their elders. Since most of them were off to university, they studied like slaves when they had tests, and kissed up to teachers like no one else. And they were always asking for help. 

 

The first thing I did upon entering the empty classroom, was pull out my sanitiser napkins and wipe the desk and seat thoroughly. I had my own box of chalk with me, and placed it in the corner of the desk. I sat down and waited for the students to come streaming through the door.

They were smiling and talking, and didn’t seem particularly unhappy about coming back to school. They had tans and bright new clothing, and were eager to share their stories. They showed each other photos on their phones, and discussed a wide range of topics, none which I was really paying attention to. Some of them looked up at me, but for the most part they ignored me until the clock on the wall stroke 8.15, and I rose from the chair. 

“Hello everyone. My name is Levi, and I will be your teacher this year. I will now call out your names and check your attendance. Answer with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘here’ if you are present.” 

Everyone was there, except for one prick named Eren Yeager. I saw a few people whisper in the back when his name was mentioned, but no one offered an explanation to his absence. I ticked off the last name, and began going through the mandatory set of rules, before applying my teaching to these kids. 

 

During lunch I sat down by myself at a table in the teacher’s break room. I was quickly joined by a pair of oddly looking colleagues. 

“Look Mike, fresh meat!” a brunette with glasses said eagerly to her blond, bearded friend who didn’t say a word. I glared at the woman in front of me, but that didn’t keep her from sitting down next to me, while the man took my other side. “You’re Levi. Erwin told us about you. Told us to welcome you. I’m Zoe and this is Mike.” 

I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t good with people, and I didn’t really care for them. 

But Zoe and Mike stuck around for rest of the break, and told me stories about the school and how things worked around here. They told me about the students, and about other teachers too. It was nice of them, I thought, but wouldn’t let it show on my face. Somehow, I didn’t like feeling in general. 

Erwin came over a few minutes before next class, and asked how my day was going and if the students had been good. 

“They’re not so bad,” I told him. “There was a guy missing this morning, though. Yeager. Eren Yeager.” 

Erwin’s smile faltered, and he sighed. “Well, I shouldn’t have expected anything else from that kid.” 

“Eren Yeager doesn’t really come to school,” Zoe explained. “He’s sort of a rebel, if you could call it that.”

“I believe delinquent would be more appropriate,” Erwin offered. “Don’t worry about him, he’ll show up when he’s ready. And if he does, perhaps you’ll be able to talk some sense into him. But don’t take it too hard if he won’t listen to you, no one’s been able to get him to come back to school on a daily basis.” I just nodded and packed my stuff before heading to class. 

 

Over the next couple of weeks, I was able to learn about my class and their individual quirks. It seemed like everyone got along, and I was pleased by that. The last thing I wanted to do was handle bullying again. There were a couple of gems in the class, like Mikasa Ackerman, who was exceptional in every subject, even P.E., and Armin Arlert, who actually had some capable brains. The rest were pretty much average. 

The students also learned how I led my classes in that time. Sasha Braus’ face when I called her out for eating crisps in my class was still imprinted in my head, because she looked like she was about to shit herself when she caught my look. Jean Kirstein was a loud mouth and an annoyance. Together with Connie Springer he had several times caused disturbance, and I gave them both detention. They controlled themselves better after that. Marco Bodt was the usual kiss-ass, and although his performance was decent enough, his attitude pissed me off. 

By the third week I could pretty much tell them apart and knew their personalities well enough. I knew what ticked them off and how to make them shut up. I also knew how to teach them. 

It was a surprise to me, however, on that first day of the third week, to see a new face entering through the door. It was a tall boy, he was lean, and wearing a pair of dark skinny-jeans along with a moss green long-sleeved sweater. His hair was chestnut brown, and divided oddly in the middle, but so clearly on purpose. He didn’t carry a bag, he simply kept his hands in his pockets. He came with the Arlert kid, engaged in conversation. He glanced over at me and our eyes met. 

“Eren Yeager, I presume?” 

The boy quickly lost his enthusiasm from the previous conversation, and sent me the a repulsive look. 

“Say another word to me and I’m out of here,” he said, testing me. 

“I’m glad to have you with us, finally,” I told him and looked down at the papers on my desk. 

Eren Yeager turned around and walked out of the classroom. Armin called out for him to come back, but it was pointless. I stared at the spot where he had vanished, uncertain of what to make of it all. 

Armin sent me a flustered look. “I’m sorry sir, I didn’t think he’d leave like that.” 

“It’s not your fault,” I said, but without warmth. “Let me have a word with you.” 

Armin looked rather nervous as he stepped in front of my desk, his cheeks were turning a shade of pink. I brought my hands up under my chin, and linked them together. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong; that was Eren Yeager?” I spoke in a calm voice, looking directly at the student in front of me. 

The blond nodded. 

“And you are his friend?” 

He nodded again. 

“Do you know why he hasn’t shown his face before now?” 

“Not really, sir. It’s complicated.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, well, it’s not really that the situation is complicated, it’s more, Eren, he’s... he’s complicated. Besides, I don’t think he likes school very much.” 

“I see. That’s fine, Arlert.” 

I watched as the kid ran to his usual spot, and sat down with his friends, face still coloured. 

 

“That Yeager showed up this morning,” I told Zoe and Mike at lunch. They looked surprised, but smiled. 

“That’s great! Do you think he’ll be back tomorrow?” Zoe asked me encouragingly. 

“I doubt it. Kid only stayed for 20 seconds before leaving.” I could see their faces darken.

“What to do about that boy...” Zoe mumbled. 

“Was he always like this?” I asked. 

She shook her head. “No, he was pretty normal during his freshman year. He wasn’t a genius or anything, in fact he was only just average. It happened so gradually, that no one realised it before it was too late. He started skipping a few classes here and there, and all of a sudden he was more often absent than not. We tried talking to him, called his parents too, but nothing helped.” 

She looked genuinely sad as she explained. To Zoe, the students weren’t just tools she used to get payed, she wanted the best for them, she wanted them to learn. “If you see him again, will you try talking to him?” she asked me, her lips pouting and eyes blank. 

I shrugged. “I’ll see what I can do, but if nothing’s worked earlier I don’t know what good it’ll do.” 

“I don’t think we should give up on him,” was her reply. 

 

People weren’t allowed to go up on the roof. That’s what Erwin had told me, anyway. But Mike had tipped me off one time he met me outside for a smoking break that it would be better to go up there. The door wasn’t locked, and there was always an ashtray at disposal. Apparently it had been used by another teacher a while back, in order to get some peace from the students, but said teacher had quit smoking, and no one was using the spot at the time being. 

I appreciated him letting me know. It was apparent that I didn’t like to be around people a lot, and too often some kid would come up to me and try to hit up a conversation. That was the part of the job I disliked the most. Because teaching other humans was fine, it was easy, and it was the same thing over and over. It was when these teenagers tried developing some sort of personal relation to me that I got uncomfortable. I didn’t really care about them. Not essentially, not like Zoe or Erwin. To me, it was all just a job, and I preferred not to talk about my personal life or hear about theirs. In that way, I was good at keeping an appropriate distance between the students and myself. As long as they behaved in my classes, I wouldn’t approach them.

So I went to the roof when I had the opportunity, and enjoyed my cigarette in peace. One day, however, I came to find the roof wasn’t vacant as usual. I opened the door, and walked outside with my cigarette already between my lips. I bent my head a little to light it, and that’s when I noticed the other person sitting not too far away, leaning against the wall. The profile was familiar, but it took me a few seconds to remember where I had seen him before.

“Eren Yeager,” I stated, and the face finally looked up at me. And this time, he didn’t run.


	3. Eren II

I had no idea why I came in the first place. I realised this as I walked through the school gates alongside Mikasa. “I changed my mind,” I told her in the hallway. 

Her face dropped and she looked at me with accusing and disappointed eyes. “But class hasn’t even started yet. Can’t you try, for first period at least?” 

“No, it doesn’t feel right,” I said, and avoided meeting her unhappy eyes.

“Eren!” I heard behind me, and seconds later Armin appeared in front of me. “I’m so happy to see you! Are you coming to history?” 

I didn’t return his smile. “Sorry Armin, not today.” 

“But you’re already here.” Mikasa protested. 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not going.” 

Armin also looked at me with sad eyes. “Are you just going to go back home then?” 

I shrugged. “I might hang around here for a while. Stick around till lunch. It’s been a while since I talked to some people so,” I ended my sentence abruptly. 

Armin sent me a bittersweet smile. “I’ll see you then,” he said. “And if you change your mind, you can always join us next class.” 

“Whatever,” I said, and watched as the two left. 

I hid in the men’s bathroom until I was sure all classes had begun. I didn’t actually want to see anyone, especially not in the morning. If I ran into anyone who knew me, they were sure to ask me about coming to class again, and I would have to listen to more whining. I wasn’t up for that. It would have been even worse if I ran into any teachers though, they were sure to make a huge deal of me showing up. I _definitely_ wasn’t in the mood for that.

I did contemplate just going back home, but then I remembered Armin’s face when he saw me. I had no idea why he always lit up like that, it’s not like I was a good friend to him or anything, and we barely spoke outside of school. Regardless, I decided to stay, so that I got to see him some more before most likely leaving for another few weeks. In reality I knew I was being a shitty friend, and it wasn’t because I didn’t like Armin, I did, it’s just that I didn’t care about anything. I had grown so accustomed to being emotionless that I couldn’t even feel guilt anymore. If Armin, or any of my other friends one day decided they no longer wanted anything to do with me, I would fully understand. But that thought didn’t scare me either.

Most of the time was spent in the library. I picked up a couple of books and flicked through some pages, but I wasn’t really interested in literature, it was simply to pass the time. After a while I sat down at one of the computers, and surfed the net for a while. Social media sites were blocked (not that I used them very often anyway), so I plugged my earphones in and watched some videos. When I thought it was late enough in the day for her to be awake, I texted Annie and asked about her plans for the night. She replied I could come over. 

As lunchtime was getting closer, I went up to the roof for a cigarette. We weren’t actually allowed up there, but no one cared to check anyway. I always went there on the days I came to school. It had a calming effect on me, because there were no crappy high school students in sight, no annoying teachers, it was quiet and lonely. 

I exhaled the smoke through my nose, and felt it warm on my upper lip. I took another drag, and this time I made rings with my mouth and tongue. I sat back and closed my eyes. From my phone and into my ears I could hear some sappy song by a pop-punk band. It was sentimental and cliché, but I didn’t mind listening to this kind of music when I smoked. 

My gaze was on the concrete ground in front of me, when I saw the door open in the corner of my eyes. The internal sigh I made was so deep it could have sunk to the bottom of the ocean. A moment of quiet, before I heard my name. 

I looked up to see him, the same teacher that I had so briefly met that one time I had so unfortunately attempted going to class. It wasn’t really anything he’d said that made me leave that morning, I was just overwhelmed by something I couldn’t explain, and had to get out of there. And now that he was before me once again, I felt the same overwhelming feeling come over me. But I didn’t move this time. Didn’t bother. I neglected the feeling and pushed it far back into myself, and refused to recognise it.

Instead, I studied the man. He had black hair, which was combed and styled with a ludicrous amount of care. He was wearing khakis, the kinds that actually looked good on men, but maybe not on him, cause he was too small to pull it off. On his upper body was a regular plaid shirt. My eyes made their way to his face, where a cigarette was placed between his thin, pink lips. His face was defined, jaw-line strong, and nose thin and pointy. His eyes were small and dark, as his eyebrows, and he frowned at me. As I was scrutinising the man, I realised how ridiculously handsome he was, especially for a mere _nobody_. Why he wasn’t a model or a film star was beyond me, but it might have had something to do with his wardrobe.

I never replied to him, and he lit his cigarette too. He stood about a couple of meters away from me, and didn’t say anything else. He shuffled, restlessly moving his hands around, first to his elbows, then down to his pockets. After taking a few drags from his smoke, he looked over. For some reason, I pulled out the earphones so that I could hear him talk. 

“You weren’t in class this morning.”

“Am I ever?” I asked ironically. “I thought teachers weren’t allowed to smoke during school hours,” I accused. 

“I’m allowed to do whatever the fuck I want,” he said.

Neither of us said anything for a while, and then he spoke up again. “Why won’t you come to class?” 

I shrugged. “Can’t be bothered.” 

“You’re going to fail,” he said. 

“I don’t care.” 

“Are you having problems at home?” 

“Nope.” 

“Are you sure? Because you can tell me about them.” 

“Are you saying that because you care?” I asked him sarcastically. 

“No,” he said calmly. “I’m asking you because it is my job.” 

“I’m fine,” I said and put the cigarette to my lips. “Everything’s fucking fine.” 

He didn’t question me further. 

I finally looked at the time, and saw it was already ten minutes into lunch break, and I hurriedly got to my feet. 

“I’ll see you around, then, Eren,” the teacher said as I was about to leave. 

I turned and looked at him. “I never got your name.”

“It’s Levi.” 

I walked through the door without saying another word. 

 

I found Mikasa and Armin in the cafeteria, together with their usual gang. They were relieved when I showed up, they’d thought I left already. Everyone greeted me with smiles, except for Jean, who only made a comment about class being better without me. I ignored him. It didn’t take long for them to start nagging me about coming back to school though. 

“It’s been a while,” Sasha said with her mouth full. “Shouldn’t you start thinking about your future?” 

I only sent her a warning with my eyes. 

Connie laid his hand protectively on my shoulder. “You know there’s no point in asking him that,” he said to her. “But it is cool to see you man,” he assured me. 

It was very tiring to see all of these people. When I finally left, all I felt like doing was sleeping. For a moment, I thought about going home, but mom would be there, and I didn’t want to see her right now. So I headed for Annie’s place instead. 

Annie was stretched out on the sofa when I entered, lazily watching tv. 

“What’s up?” she asked. 

“Went to school today. Didn’t go to any classes, but it was exhausting as fuck.” 

“Poor Eren,” she said without a hint of sympathy. 

I slouched down next to her feet on the couch. 

“Reiner’s out,” she said and looked over with her eyebrows raised expectantly. 

“Not in the mood,” I said and burrowed my head in a pillow. “I just want to sleep.”

 

When I awoke, Annie was gone from the couch, and Reiner was in the kitchen corner preparing some food. 

“Yeager, my man. How’s it going?” 

I looked lazily up at him, still half asleep. “Hanging in there,” I said, and yawned. 

Reiner sat down next to me and turned on the tv. 

“Where’d Annie go?” I asked him. 

“To get beer. She’ll be back soon.” 

I sat up, and stretched. “How’s school?” I asked. 

“Not bad. Better now that we’re not freshmen anymore. How about you?” 

“I met my teacher today.” 

“Took you that long, huh,” Reiner said and punched me friendly in the side. “Was he a pain in the ass?” 

I stared out in front of me, and for a moment lost focus, as if I was having some great epiphany. “Nah, he’s hot,” I said. 

Reiner laughed. “You’re hot for teacher now, Yeager? I can’t believe you.” 

I laughed too. “Other than that he’s a fucking prick though.” 

 

It was only a couple of days later that I went back. This time I didn’t go with Mikasa, I waited until she’d left, and walked down to the school after classes had begun. I didn’t go to the library, instead, I sat on top of the roof. I listened to music and smoked, and as I had expected, Levi showed up during one of the breaks. 

“Do you plan on making it a habit, coming here just to sit around and smoke?” he asked me.

“I didn’t have anything better to do today.”

“Then you might as well-”

“No.” I placed my glare on the older man. “I’m not coming to any of your fucking classes, so stop bothering me.” 

Levi didn’t say anything after that, and left shortly after. 

 

But I came back the next day. It was honestly just because I didn’t have shit to do. Annie and Reiner had started their own classes as well, and I couldn’t see them every day like in the summer. My house was a prison to me, I couldn’t stay there for long without going crazy from staring at the four walls surrounding me in my room. That left me with the option of wandering the streets, or going to school. 

Levi came today as well. This time he actually seemed surprised to see me. “Two days in a row, I might start to believe you like it here.”

“You wish,” I said, and reached for my pack of cigarettes. I whispered a “fuck”, as I realised I was out. Levi pulled out his own pack and offered me to bum one. I took it without saying thanks. 

 

I went back several times, but not every day. I made sure to stay away for a few days, every now and then, so no one would think I actually wanted to be there. Because I didn’t. Sometimes I would go the cafeteria and catch up with people, but I avoided it as much as possible. It drained me of energy. Sometimes I went to the library and hung around for a bit. But most of the time, I sat up on the roof.

Naturally, I saw Levi quite often. We didn’t really talk in the beginning, which was fine by me. However, I’d find him looking over at me quite often. I wasn’t sure whether he wanted to say something or if he was just thinking. I never asked. I did however, after a couple of weeks, ask him how the fuck he put up with all the students.

“You mean brats like you?” he said. 

I rolled my eyes. “No, I mean the overly dramatic kids who brats like me are trying to avoid.” 

“They’re fucking annoying.” 

“Then why are you even a teacher?” 

Levi shrugged. “Didn’t really bother to come up with anything better. Besides, it pleased my parents.” 

“It _pleased your parents_? What kind of reason is that? I never took you for a people pleaser.”

“Shut your mouth, Yeager, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” There was some anger in his dark eyes, and I could only imagine I had stirred a touchy subject with him. I let it go after that, I didn’t want to upset him any further. He was, after all, one of the few people I didn’t mind being around.

 

“Tell me, Eren, how do you spend your days?” Levi asked me one day. It wasn’t out of courtesy, I could tell. It wasn’t out of interest either. 

“I don’t know. I drink. Smoke. Fuck. Watch tv and shit, just like any person would.” 

“Are you worried about your future?” 

I didn’t look at him when I answered. “I guess. I don’t really care.” 

“There’s a way you can pass your senior year, without having to go to class,” he told me. 

I carefully looked over with raised eyebrows, while trying hard not to seem interested. “And how is that, exactly?” 

“I can tutor you, and then you can take some tests at school. I’ll be able to give you a grade like that.”

“ _Tutor_ me? Like in your free time? Is that even allowed?” There was aggression in my voice, I was suddenly very hesitant. 

“You sure are interested in rules, for someone who keeps breaking them.” 

I scowled at him. 

“I already talked to Erwin about it. He thinks it’s a great idea.”

“I’ll do it-” I said with a shrug, “if you get a pair of skinny jeans and wear them to school.” 

“ _What?_ ”

“I’m serious. I think they’d suit you well.” I laughed out loud while imagining it. “Hell, I’ll even come to your class if you do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be really cool i promise


	4. Levi II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys will like this.

I looked at myself in the mirror inside the changing room. I looked ridiculous. I looked like a goddamn teenager. 

“Let me see,” I heard from the outside. 

“No,” I replied, but then Eren Yeager ripped the curtain aside and pulled me out in the shop. “Not bad. Turn around” he said, and examined my lower body shamelessly. 

Why the fuck was I here again? 

It was all to get him to fucking study. After I told Erwin that Eren had started showing up at school grounds, he was ludicrously excited. He’d insisted I convince the boy to attend classes, but I’d told him that was highly unlikely to happen. That’s when he suggested I tutor him. I would have said no. I would have said I didn’t have the time. I would have told him a lie, said I had kids who needed my attention, or a sick mother. I would have said anything really, had it not been for the fact that I had absolutely nothing to do outside my job, and Erwin knew that all too well. Which is why he asked me in the first place. So when Eren Yeager told me to wear skinny jeans in return for his presence, I complied. Because I really had nothing better to do. 

“I look like a fucking child,” I said and glared up at him. It was only now, when we were standing next to each other, that I noticed he was a head taller than me. Annoying brat. 

“You look like you’re in a band or something,” he said, eyes still locked on my bottom parts. He frowned and crossed his arms, like he was thinking. “I think we should go with another type,” he said. 

Shortly after he’d gotten another three pairs for me to put on. As I tried them on, he managed to pick up about a dozen regular plaid shirts that he insisted I also tried on. I ended up buying a pair of black jeans, that I much suspected were originally intended for girls even though Eren denied it, and a couple of shirt because apparently I just “had to.” After that we went to eat at a fast food restaurant, as shopping for clothes really wears you out. I don’t know how people do it. All in all, it was terrible.

 

As if I hadn’t been humiliated enough already, the looks I got once I entered the school Monday morning were awful. I hated attention, really. In the teachers’ lounge, Zoe was sure to comment on my change in attire, and I told her it was all part of a deal. She raised her eyebrows high, laughed, and complimented me. I grabbed my cup of coffee and wandered grumpily off to first period. 

The students stared, but no one dared say a word after I shot them a deathly glare, before sitting down behind my desk. There were still a couple of minutes left until class started, so I got up and started writing some things on the board in preparation. In the corner of my eye I saw Eren Yeager walking in through the door with a few more students. But instead of quickly looking away and stealing a glance like the other kids had done, he stopped and gaped at me with wide eyes. Then he started laughing. He laughed loud and long, and I turned around to give him the deadliest look I could pull off. It made him laugh even more; he clutched his stomach and gasped for air. The other people in the room looked from him to me, with horrified expressions on their faces. Without saying a word, I walked to my desk, picked up a slip and wrote his name on it. 

“Detention,” I said, and handed the slip to him.

“As if I’m going to show up to _that_ ,” he said, wiping tears from his eyes. “But I’ll stay for now, like I agreed. I was right though, it really suits you.” He held his fist horizontally towards me, like he expected me to fist bump him. 

“Find your seat, Yeager.” 

 

It seemed like Eren Yeager must have appreciated my work, because he came back to my classes after that. Not all of them, of course, but a couple a week. He’d always come in the afternoons, probably after sleeping in. I was always annoyed to see him, but it was a good thing nevertheless, and Erwin praised me senseless. More often I saw him up on the roof. He came sometimes, said a few words, then left again. 

There was also one more place I had to see his stupid face, and that was in my own apartment. A couple of times a week, he came over and I tried teaching him the curriculum. It turned out, he wasn’t that stupid after all, but not especially bright either. He managed to keep up, and scored average on a few quizzes, much to my surprise. He joked around a lot, he always tried his best not to be serious, which was a pain in the ass. 

 

“Focus,” I told him. 

“Nuh, I want a smoke.” 

“You just had one ten minutes ago.” 

“I’ve been here for almost two hours.” 

I leaned back on the couch. “Maybe it is time we call it a day after all.” 

Eren was sitting next to me and doing everything in his power not to work on his current assignment. 

“At least you’re doing progress.” 

He didn’t reply, he looked like he couldn’t care less, and was tapping his foot impatiently.

“Eren, do you have any plans for when you finish high school?”

He groaned out of irritation. “God, I’m so sick of people asking me that! Leave me alone already.”

“You don’t want to live with your parents forever, do you?” 

“Of course I don’t. I just haven’t figured it out yet. I’ll get a job or something. Maybe join the mafia even, fuck, _I don’t know_. I don’t care.” 

I sighed. “You keep saying you don’t care, but surely there must be someone in your life you’d want to make happy or proud. I’m under the impression that you do have friends.” 

“I don’t care about them.” 

“That’s rather cold. You don’t mean that.” 

Eren had an uninterested expression on his face. He hated the conversation, I could tell. But I wanted to make him feel something, because frankly I was sick of putting in all these extra hours for such a lifeless person. 

He shrugged. “Armin’s a good one. I like him, but he’s way too smart for me. Mikasa too, but that one’s kind of given.”

“Mikasa Ackerman?” I asked him in surprise. “The-” 

“Over-achiever? Yeah. She’s my sister.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.”

I couldn’t believe it. The straight-A girl that every teacher loved to praise, she was Eren Yeager’s _sister_. There had to be some kind of mistake somewhere. Clearly reading my mind, Eren raised his eyebrows unamused and looked over at me. 

“I know, how is that even possible? She’s the complete opposite from me. I’m a failure high school drop-out and she’s the best student in the school. I’m a loud mouth with a short temper and I don’t take anything serious, while she’s the definition of well-behaved and a good girl. We don’t even have the same last name. And she’s _Asian_.” 

I opened my mouth to say something, but he spoke again before I could make a sound.

“She’s adopted.” 

Suddenly it made sense, if only just.

“She’ll never leave me though, no matter how much I fuck up. I guess I really appreciate her for that.” As Eren said these last words, he got up and put on his jacket. “I guess I’ll see you around,” he said before leaving.

 

Eren didn’t come to school for a few days after that. He didn’t reply when I texted him about the next tutor lesson either, which led me to believe something actually had stirred him that day. I wasn’t sure if it was the talk we had, or if something had happened after he left, but I tried not to dwell on it. It wasn’t any of my business, really. Not that I wanted to know either. 

However, now that I knew about Eren’s relation to Mikasa, I decided to have a talk with her, and pulled her to the side one day after class. I asked her if Eren was ok, and she told me she hadn’t seen him for a couple of days. 

“He hangs out with some college kids,” she explained. Her eyes were sad when she spoke, and I could only imagine she meant that these friends of his were no good. “I wish he’d be at home more. I wish he’d take his life seriously, but it’s all a joke to him.” I only listened with a scowl on my face to her confessions. “I know he cares about me, but he doesn’t show it. He would never show his feelings to anyone.” Mikasa took a deep breath, I was afraid she was going to cry, but instead, she smiled bravely. “I’m glad that he agreed to tutoring though. And I can’t believe how often he’s been to school lately. It’s all thanks to you, sir.” She looked me straight in the eyes as she said this. It made me uncomfortable. As far as I was concerned, I hadn’t done that much. I was just doing my job.

 

I was sitting mindlessly in my kitchen wiping the remote controls with some extra strong disinfectant I had gotten at the local store earlier that day when my phone rang. I was so concentrated on my task that I didn’t notice the caller ID as I picked up. I immediately wished I hadn’t when I heard who it was. 

“Darling! How is it going?” 

“Mother,” I replied coldly, not answering her question. 

“I hope you are doing okay, I think about you a lot, Levi. It wouldn’t hurt to call home sometimes.” 

I snorted into the phone. 

“Anyway, guess who I met today at the supermarket. Your beloved Petra! And she misses you, you know. You should give her a call.” 

“It’s not going to happen,” I said. 

“But Levi, she’s perfect for you.” 

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” I yelled into the phone. 

“Calm down, darling. I was just saying, that both your father and I would be very pleased if you decided to settle down with someone. It’s about time too. And Petra’s so adorable, how can you not-” 

“When are you going to fucking get it? I’m fucking gay, mother! I don’t care about Petra and if she can’t move on then that’s her fucking problem not mine.”

“That’s no way to speak to your mother.” Her voice had suddenly turned to ice. 

“Goodbye,” I said and hurriedly hung up.

I buried my face in my palms, and gritted my teeth in anger. I stayed like that for about half a minute, then I heard the doorbell ring. “What the fuck is it now,” I murmured, and got up to open. I silently swore that if it was a salesman he’d never see the light of day again. 

But no, I opened the door to see Eren Yeager. Fucking Eren Yeager. He had his arms crossed and avoided my gaze. 

“What do you want?” I growled at him. 

“Uhm, I thought you were going to tutor me today,” he said hesitantly. 

I turned around and left the door open as a gesture for him to follow me. 

“If you ever show up at my place like this without letting me know again I swear I will strangle you.”

“Wow, someone’s on edge today,” he said and tried laughing, but the laugh died rather awkwardly. Something was off, clearly off. 

Eren took off his zip-hoodie, and threw it over back of the couch, before sitting down. It was only then I noticed the dark spots on his arms, visible to me for the first time. I grabbed his wrist and pulled it up close so I could examine them further. 

“What the fuck is this?” I said, while widening my eyes. 

“Hey, relax, it’s nothing.” He tried pulling his arm back but I held it firmly. 

“Are those cigarette burns? Have you been _harming_ yourself?” It was hard to take my eyes off the dark red marks, but I managed to look to the boys face. He was honestly surprised by my reaction, more insecure than I had ever seen him. 

“Chill, will ya? I’m not ‘ _harming_ ’ myself. It’s just for fun, alright.” 

I let go of his wrist, and looked away in anger. “Do you think this is all a fucking joke? Don’t you think this is serious? What the fuck is wrong with you, Yeager?” I might have been too harsh. I was supposed to represent an authority, and should have kept my calm. But I was already shaken by the phone call earlier, and all of a sudden I had taken my anger out on him.

He was sure to bite back though. When he heard the venomous words coming from my mouth, his expression turned sour, and he snapped at me. 

“You think there’s something wrong with _me_? How about you take a look at yourself before you judge! You’re just an ageing man without shit to do. Just look around you, please, it doesn’t take a genius to figure you have a severe case of OCD, the way you’re scrubbing your goddamn shirt-buttons. You don’t have any friends, your parents don’t even accept you, and you try telling me what the fuck _I_ should do with my life. I should be the one asking, what the fuck is wrong with _you_?” 

With that, Eren grabbed his hoodie and stormed out of the flat, before I had the chance to process what he had said. Once I had, however, I calmly walked over to the kitchen, and noticed how the window was open by an inch. I realised that he must have been right outside all along, and overheard the conversation with my mother. 

For a while I just stood there, staring at the same spot. I didn’t think. I didn’t feel. It was quite refreshing. After a couple of minutes I pulled myself back to reality, and was faced with Eren’s hurtful words. They were all true, but was I hurt? I thought to myself, that even if I was, there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t care, and that’s when it hit me that I might be more alike him that I realised. In my own way, I was the same, emotionless person as him. 

 

I continued living my life as if nothing had happened. I worked, cleaned, and occasionally picked up a book or watched tv. Needless to say, I didn’t see Eren Yeager for a while. He was probably busy chasing his own demons, while I refused to face mine.

It was one particular day that I was feeling more than usual, and tried numbing myself with an unhealthy amount of cigarettes. Not that _any_ amount of cigarettes was healthy, though. I sat on the small balcony on my flat and stared out at the city. It was dark, and getting colder, so I wore an extra sweater. 

I thought about the words coming from the mouth of that boy, which still haunted me. What was I even living for? Doing the same thing day in and day out, without a damn reason to life. I could suddenly understand why he sought refugee in drugs and alcohol. Life was truly meaningless. 

I grabbed for another cigarette, and realised I had run out. I cursed, and looked at the time. I hurried out of the apartment, ran down the stairs of the building, and out on the street. I hurried around the block, hoping that I would make it in time, but as I turned the corner, I could see the last person leaving the store. The lights were off, and the building empty. I walked all the way up and looked through the window just to be sure. 

“Fuck,” I hissed as I kicked the wall. 

“Easy there,” I heard a familiar voice say behind me. I let out a sigh, _not right now_ , I thought as I turned to see the brat sitting on a bench nearby. 

“Why are you here?” I asked him angrily. 

“Bored,” he said. 

I shouldn’t have expected anything else, really. I was about to walk off, I didn’t want to see him right now, but he spoke again. 

“Wait. Sit down.” 

“Why would I do that?” 

“I have a smoke left. We can share it.” 

I sat down at the edge, as far away from him as possible. He handed me the cigarette, and let me light it. 

“About the other day,” he began, pausing, probably to think it over. “I’m sorry.” 

I puffed a few times, then handed the cigarette to him. “I’m at a loss of words. Is the infamous Eren Yeager apologising?”

“Shut up. Just accept it before I take it back.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said and turned slightly towards him. He shifted, came closer to me, and took a deep breath of the cigarette. I reached my hand out, intending to grab it, when he placed himself right next to me. I opened my mouth to ask what the fuck he was doing, but then his face was right in front of mine, and I couldn’t speak a word. I stared into his deep green irises, and a gentle smiled spread across his lips for a short moment. Then he opened his mouth, and slowly blew the smoke into mine. I was paralysed. 

“You’re supposed to inhale,” he said with a smirk, before repeating his action, still locking our eyes together. 

This time, I obeyed, inhaling his breath, which smelled suspiciously sweet, and I wondered if perhaps he was still high. And as I sat there, going dizzy from the smoke, or maybe it was my OCD screaming that another human being shouldn’t be this close, or maybe I was just tired, I felt my heartbeat raise a little.


	5. Eren III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this has been rather... awkward to write. I hope you enjoy, but do read the notes at the end.

I slammed the side of my fist to the wall, anger rising up in me. I hated the feeling. Knowing that I was experiencing some sort of emotion made me even angrier, and I gritted my teeth. For a moment I suggested to myself that it had been the drugs that possessed me to _flirt_ with my teacher, but I knew all too well that I had already sobered up. Then I asked myself why I was letting this get to me. That helped, I lowered my shoulders and took a deep breath. I decided I wouldn’t think about it. Because I didn’t fucking care. 

 

I walked through the night and ended up back at Annie’s door. I knocked forcefully until she opened. She was wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms and a tank top, and looked at me with lazy eyes. “What’s going on?” she asked. 

“Couldn’t go home,” I said, and walked in through the door. “You mind if I stay?” 

“Course not. Make yourself at home.” 

We ended up watching tv in her bed, but I wasn’t paying attention. My mind wouldn’t settle down; I kept going over the events that had taken place. In my head, I was still sitting on that bench sharing my air with Levi. 

“Eren, did something happen to you?” Annie asked after a while. 

“No, I just... I’m restless, you know.” I buried my head into a pillow. Then I looked up at the woman next to me, and decided I needed a distraction. 

I moved my head over and put my lips sloppily on her collarbone. She didn’t protest when I began dragging my tongue over it. I put a hand on her chest, and squeezed, before moving my entire body on top of hers. She ran her hands over my ass. My hand found its way down her underwear, and I started rubbing at the place I thought must be the right one. She began moving her hips against mine, and I inserted a couple of fingers into her. She let out a low moan. 

I didn’t even bother undressing properly. I slipped off her pants and underwear, before unbuttoning my own jeans. I slid them down to my thighs, but left them like that, before entering the girl under me. It was quick, I thrusted into her rapidly. She came first, probably sensing my desperation, because I finished only seconds later. Once it was over I pulled out and lay down beside her. I was too tired to think.

“This isn’t going to solve your problems,” Annie told me. 

I ignored her, and turned my back to her, trying to fall asleep. 

 

School wasn’t so bad these days. It was quite amusing seeing Levi handle students like Jean, Sasha, Connie, and even Ymir. His were the only classes I went to anyway. When he wasn’t staring people to their graves, he was actually interesting as well. He found ways to make lessons less tedious, and whenever there were “teamwork” tasks, he never forced me to collaborate. He never forced me to do anything. If I, or anyone else, were disturbing his teaching, he would simply ask us to leave the room. Of course he easily gave detention but that wasn’t really a problem for me, because I never went to those anyway. But I liked watching him teach. Not only was he pleasant to look at, but his voice was soothing and comfortable, with a ring of authority to it. I swallowed everything he said. Maybe not everything though, since I only scored average on his tests, but it was better than I had in a long time. 

But I didn’t see him as just a teacher anymore. I saw him as a person. A person I enjoyed spending time with. Whether he’d ever admit it or not, we were alike, and I guess that’s why I liked seeing him. He did have his issues, but he refused to acknowledge them or do something about them, and I liked that about him. Because problems didn’t always need to be handled, sometimes they were just there in the background. And that was fine. It didn’t bother me. It didn’t seem to bother him. All was fine. 

Even though I had been very bothered that one night, I never showed it again. Not to Annie, not to my family, not to Levi, and not even to myself. I just continued living as I had before. Went to class sometimes, which made Mikasa and Armin extraordinarily happy. And people had stopped commenting on my absence too, which made things a bit easier. These days I’d just have a few laughs with people or enraged discussions with Jean in the cafeteria, and I rarely had to bother with unpleasant stuff. Teachers were nice to me too, but I continued to avoid them as much as I could. 

 

For some reason, Levi had decided to put tutoring on a Friday night. I had no idea why, but seeing as my schedule was open like usual, it didn’t matter to me. I mean, I could have joined Annie and Reiner to one of their college parties, and I guess it wouldn’t have been so bad, but all in all, there would be more parties in the future.

I sat down on his couch as usual, when a loud beeping noise rang through the apartment. “That would be the washing machine,” Levi explained. “Excuse me for a sec,” he said and walked off to the bathroom. 

As I sat there by myself, I heard the doorbell ring. Levi, apparently, did not hear it, because he didn’t come out to open it. It rang again. I got up from the couch, and walked over to the door. I opened it. 

A petite girl stood in front of me. Her hair was somewhere between blonde and ginger, and her eyes huge and light brown. She was skinny, and had a friendly but firm expression on her face. For a split second, she seemed surprised to see me, but tried instantly to hide it. 

“Uhm, who are you?” I asked her, probably a bit too rudely. 

She smiled at me. “I’m here to see Levi, is he home?” 

“Uh, yeah, but I’m not sure-” 

The woman gently pushed me aside and walked into the apartment, completely ignoring my every word. She went straight for the living room, it looked as if she knew her way around the flat. She rested next to the sofa, looking around, presumably for Levi. She waited there, looking expectantly at me. 

“So, where is he?” 

Her voice was girly, young, and she spoke in a kind tone. But something didn’t feel right with me, because never in the time I had known Levi, had he mentioned any friends, family members, or acquaintances to fit her description. Consider the reserved person he was, this wasn’t too strange, but his phone never rang, and the only time he’d ever interacted with anyone outside of his job it had been with his parents. I doubted the girl in front of me could be his mother, after all, she looked only a few years older than me.

“Who are you?” I asked again, stricter this time. 

She chuckled lightly at me. “Oh, silly, he didn’t tell you about me? That’s so like him. I’m his girlfriend, of course. Are you one of his students? You must be, you’re so young. Besides, I don’t know for what other reason he would have people over. I’m Petra.”

She held out her hand, but I didn’t grab it. Instead, I glared at her with mean eyes. She pulled back her hand and looked back at me insecurely. “

I’m not a kid,” I told her, although my behaviour proved otherwise, but I was too aggravated to care. Just as she opened her mind to speak again, Levi appeared in the doorway on the side, and looked from my angry expression to Petra’s perplexed one. He himself looked surprised, before a deep frown appeared on his forehead. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked. 

She smiled warmly, walked towards him with her arms lifted, as if she intended to kiss him, but he slapped her hands away. 

“Get out.”

“But Levi, how can you say that? It’s been so long, aren’t you happy to see me?” 

“No, I’m not. I told you, I don’t want anything to do with you.” 

“But what about our promise?” 

“I don’t care about any promises!” Levi was losing it, and shouted at the girl. “I don’t want to be with you, Petra, when are you going to get that through that thick skull of yours! We broke up! It’s over!” 

Petra’s expression was still focused and firm, and once again she stretched her lips. “I think we should give it another shot. Try again, yeah? We’d make it, I’m sure of it.” 

At this point, Levi was shaking his head hopelessly in anger. “No, Petra, we would not. I disagree. I don’t want to try again. I want you to stay the fuck out of my life.” 

Petra tried closing in on Levi, placing a hand his shoulder and squeezing it. She was still smiling. “Come on, Levi. You know it’s right.” 

Then Levi grabbed her on both sides and looked her dead in the eyes. “What do I have to do to get you to understand? Do I have to get a fucking restraining order? What the fuck Petra, why can’t you accept that we did not work out? You can’t just barge into to people’s homes and act like this. You’re being a crazy bitch.” 

Finally, the tears started running down her face, but she never took her eyes off him. “Why can’t you give this another chance, Levi?” she cried. “I love you.” 

“Well, I don’t love you. I told you before, and don’t expect me to apologise again because I fucking won’t. It’s life, sometimes you get dumped. It sucks. Now leave.” 

Levi practically pushed her out of the room. I could hear some more arguing at the door, but I couldn’t make out any words. 

Once she was gone, he came back in, sat down on the couch, and hid his face in his hands. “ _What the fuck,_ ” he mumbled to himself. 

It seemed he had forgotten I was in the room. It seemed _I_ had forgotten I was in the room, because I hadn’t moved during the entire argument, and I was still standing behind the couch, unsure of what to do next. 

Then Levi looked at me, with a mortified expression on his face. 

“Sorry you had to see that.” 

He was upset, I could tell, but of course he didn’t want me to know. I decided right then and there what course of action to take. 

“She must have been a handful,” I said jokingly. 

He sent me one of his signature looks. “Let’s get back to maths, shall we?” 

“Actually, I have a better idea,” I said and sat down next to him. 

He raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “Do I even want to hear it?” 

“Yes you do. It’s Friday night. Let’s go out. Get wasted, forget about the world. You know you want to after what just happened. You can tell me about it or not, I don’t really care, but I’m sure you’d love to just drown your sorrows right now.”

And thus the two of us ended up in a bar not far away from Levi’s place. It was pretty big, there were lots of people, and the music was loud so no one could hear us talking. We sat at the counter, and Levi didn’t waste any time, starting by ordering two shots of whisky. He told me cheers and swallowed his right away. He proceeded to drink rum, while I took a beer. We didn’t talk for a while, and I was fine with that, it was better than studying anyway. I liked how the Friday night was turning out, because I myself would like nothing more to drink my life away too.

After about fifteen minutes, Levi put down his glass in front of him, a little too rough, but I knew the alcohol wasn’t getting too him quite yet. I looked over at him, and could only conclude that he was still shaken by the events that had taken place in his flat. 

“That girl,” he mumbled. 

“She’s your ex?” I asked him. 

“Obviously.” 

“Seems like you know how to pick the crazy ones.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Yeager.” He took another sip. “We dated in university, and my parents were thrilled. She was so damn perfect. Well-behaved, pretty, smart. I guess they all wanted us to get married or something.” 

“But you didn’t.” 

“Of course not. That’s why I broke up with her. As you have seen, she went fucking nuts.”

I hesitated before speaking again. I wasn’t sure what to say in this situation, I didn’t know how to cheer someone up. It wasn’t my forte at all. 

“Is there anything I can do?” I asked, despite going against my own personality.

“Get us another couple of shots.” 

And so we drank. As lines became blurred, Levi and I talked about anything that came to our minds. We complained about school, its teachers and students, bitched about crazy exes, and laughed at people in the bar. We never touched any serious subjects, of course, nothing about life or anything like that. The air was kept light and casual. We stayed until we were kicked out, partly because of closing time and partly because we could barely stand up anymore. We clumsily walked back to Levi’s flat; it was cold so we huddled together. Once inside the apartment, we stumbled over to the couch, where I sat down while Levi went over to the fridge to get some beer. Another drink down and I couldn’t tell up from down anymore, and we sat there laughing our asses off at seemingly nothing. 

Levi got up again, and came back with another pair of cans in his hands. 

“You holding up, kid?” he asked me with a slurred voice. 

“I’m not a kid,” I whined back, and grabbed the end of his shirt. I looked up at him, and it hit me once again how good-looking my teacher was. That’s when I had the idea. It seemed good at the time. 

“I want to fuck you,” I said. 

His eyes met mine, but he didn’t flinch. In a very serious tone, he mustered the word: “what?” before I pulled him with all my strength and he fell on top of me. I kissed him forcefully.

“Eren, what the fuck are you doing?” he uttered but made no attempt to escape. 

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re hot.” 

“Eren, this is not a good idea,” he stuttered as I kissed his neck. 

“Forget about it, let’s just fuck.” 

He mumbled something more but I ignored him and kissed him on the lips again. He was drunk. Maybe even drunker than me. Which might be the only reason he gave in and leaned in against me. Sloppy kisses were exchanged, our tongues far more out of our mouths than they should be. The opportunity to feel his ass finally presented itself, and I didn’t waste it; I ran my hands over it and squeezed greedily. Levi replied by pushing his waist towards me, and I knew what was going to happen next. 

He clumsily stood up from his position, grabbed me by the collar of my t-shirt, and dragged me off the couch. I got up next to him and kissed him with such force that he almost fell over.

“Watch it, you fucking brat,” he mumbled, and next he pointed at another door and simply said the word “bedroom” and we stumbled across the living room and entered into his sleeping area. Inside, I grabbed him by the ass again and pulled him close, or bodies grinding against each other, and forced my tongue down his throat. I proceeded to trail my mouth down his neck while my hands went beneath his shirt and clutched his back. When a dark moan escaped his mouth, I pushed him onto the bed. I ripped open his shirt, and licked his chest and nipples while he continued to make sweet noises. I rubbed our crotches together and it felt good, but I wanted more friction. I pulled my t-shirt over my shoulders and threw it away, and Levi ran his hands over my now naked upper body and through my hair. We had some problems with the jeans, considering how drunk we were, but I managed to pull Levi’s off after some struggling. I got rid of my own much faster, and went back to grinding against his body. Levi looked almost like he was losing his shit, he wasn’t even able to produce any actual words. I decided to do something about his raging hard boner, so I ducked down and revealed his throbbing member with my hands. I jerked him carefully a few times, and he just shouted for me to go faster, but instead I placed my lips around him, licked, and took him all in my mouth. Watching him twist in pleasure was absolutely fantastic. It was my teacher, my awfully attractive teacher right in front of me, moaning with eyes closed because I was sucking him off. I could tell he was close to coming, so at the last minute I removed my mouth and replaced it with my hand, pumping aggressively until he came all over my palm. He was shaking and sweaty, and after a few short breaths he opened his mouth to complain about my dick-move at the end, but I grabbed his thighs hard and lowered my face to meet his eyes, and before he could even say a word I looked him dead in the eyes and said: “We’re not done here. Turn around.” 

He only gulped and obeyed, he was perhaps a little frightened now. 

I was looking at his back now, and I leaned down to bite his neck, and sucked on it until he winced. With one hand on his shoulder, I brought the other one up in front of his mouth and commanded him to lick. And he didn’t just lick, he sucked hard on my fingers, making my dick throb, and I pressed it against his thigh for him to feel it. My wet fingers found their way to his butt hole, and I played around the opening for a bit, while dry-humping him through my boxer shorts. Then I inserted one finger, brought it in and out until I felt the body under me squirm in a particular way, and I inserted one more. It was quickly followed by a third finger, and I was rapidly pushing them against the perfect spot, and Levi was once again moaning under me. 

“Fuck,” I cried out, “I can’t take it anymore. Where do you keep the lube?”

“Second drawer on the right,” Levi gasped under me, and I hurriedly reached over, opened the drawer, and grabbed the lube. There was also a pile of condoms, so I grabbed one for myself. I finally removed my underwear, put on the condom, and coated my dick before pressing it against Levi’s opening. 

“I’m going to fuck you like a dog,” I said before entering. 

Levi was screaming now, and I couldn’t help but moan myself. I thrusted fiercely, but Levi kept shouting for me to go harder and faster, and I did, until his muscles tightened around me, and I came inside of him (or inside the condom, but whatever). I collapsed next to him on his bed, both of us panting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually very hesitant to write this. This is simply because, by law (and common moral), people aren't really able to consent to sexual activities when under the influence of alcohol, and therefore no matter how I imagined it in my head it seemed like rape to me. I wondered if maybe I was crossing a line with this, but I think I managed to keep it rather decent. Besides, considering that Ereri is a pretty controversial pairing to begin with, I think it's okay to push the limits a little. But I just want to make it clear that this is all fiction, and only that. It's just a piece of amateur fanfic, made to satisfy whatever weird fantasies you and me both have, and I do not encourage this kind of behaviour irl. Though Eren and Levi don't mind too much in here. 
> 
> Now, I don't want to end this on such a dark note. So yeah. Things will start to build from here I guess.


	6. Levi III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the wait on this one. It has been a difficult time for writing.
> 
> I haven't forgotten about this fic, and I still have many cool things in store. Also, if you're thinking none of this makes any sense, good. I wanted to write an Eren who's so messed up he doesn't make any sense. But you'll see. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy (:

If I just kept my eyes closed, I could pretend like everything was normal. If I just lay completely still, my head and body felt almost fine, and it was like any other Saturday morning. Nothing special or out of the ordinary had happened. But no. My shoulder twitched, and the spell was broken. I felt it in my stomach first. 

It was that hollow feeling after not having eaten for too long. I was also very thirsty, my throat was dry, and my face dehydrated. I wanted to get another drink, but it was too late. The hangover had already arrived. I opened my eyes and moved my head a little bit to the right. That’s when the headache became apparent. 

Had I been alone, I would’ve just pulled the covers further up and groaned back to sleep until I was ready to face the day. But Eren Yeager was there, in my bed, and he was also slowly waking up. I didn’t want to remember, but it came back to me all at once, and I realised why my lower back was aching in that way, and that was another reason not to get up just yet. 

He stretched, and turned around to look at me, with that fucking ridiculous grin of his, and he actually had the nerve to let out a short laugh. 

“Well, that was a wild night. My head is killing me.”

“Get out.” 

“Come on, no morning cuddles?” he asked, still smiling slyly at me. 

“You have 20 seconds to get the fuck out of my place, Yeager.” I considered pushing him out of the bed, but he got up on his own accord. 

“Yeah yeah, I’m leaving.” He pulled on his clothes in silence. I carefully watched his every move from the bed, until he stood in front of the door and looked back at me. 

“Don’t tell a soul,” I said coldly, while he avoided meeting my glare. 

“Wow, I slept with a teacher. Need to cross that off the bucket list,” he said, as if he was trying to make a joke out of it. 

“ _Eren._ ” 

“It was fun though, you have to admit that. Sometimes you just have to do something crazy to feel alive.” 

“I could lose my job.” 

“Relax, I won’t tell anyone.” 

And with that he walked out of the door and left me to my own thoughts and regrets. 

 

I never expected to see him again Monday morning. _Morning_. He wasn’t in class, but he had the decency to show up on the roof for my very first smoke break. It was awkward, none of us seemed to know what to say. It struck me as kind of funny, since both of us were such careless people who were now at a loss of what to say. But I knew what had to be done. 

“I’m not going to tutor you anymore,” I told him. 

Eren’s eyes widened and his hand holding his cigarette paused in front of his face. 

“What? Why?” 

“You know why. This isn’t appropriate anymore.” 

“Just because we had sex?” 

I flinched at the word, as if he had said something highly revolting. 

“You know, people are going to wonder why you all of a sudden would make a decision like this. Erwin will ask questions. It’s better to just pretend like nothing happened.”

“Can you really do that?” 

He shrugged, and put out the cigarette. “Yeah. I don’t see why you couldn’t as well.” 

“Because, Eren, as a responsible grown up person with a conscience, there’s no way I can forgive myself for committing a taboo like this.” 

“Taboo? That’s funny.” 

“I’m being serious.” 

“I don’t think it was wrong. You’re not that old, are you? Like, 26 maybe? I’m 18, the age different really isn’t that big.” 

“I’m your _teacher_.” 

“I don’t care. We might as well have met that very night at the bar, and it would have ended up the same way. Then there would be no problem.” 

I wanted to hit something. I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. I wanted to scream at him. I was so angry, but I remained calm, because I couldn’t even find a reasonable explanation for all of this anger. 

“I’ll ask Erwin to assign another teacher for you,” I said, and took a step towards the door.

But before I got any further, Eren slammed a hand to the wall right in front of me, and blocked the way. 

“You can’t. It won’t work with anyone else. It has to be you. I’ll tell them.” 

“You fucking will not.” 

“Levi, I need this.” 

I looked up and into his solid stare. I realised that I was looking at an Eren Yeager who actually wanted to accomplish something in his life, he wanted to finish school, and he wanted me to help him. He was so different from the boy I had first met all those weeks ago. 

His pale face was close to mine, and for a second I felt completely paralysed. I didn’t know what to do. Then he leaned down and kissed me. He placed his lips forcefully on mine and pushed me back against the wall. I got out of my frozen state, and grabbed his shoulders to pull him away. 

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked him, suddenly feeling very light-headed. 

“You know you like it,” he whispered into my ear as he slowly trailed a hand over my upper body and down to my pants. He rubbed it against my crotch, the fabric of my jeans in-between it and my dick. 

“Eren, please, we’re at school. Stop this now.” 

He started kissing my neck and continued to massage me through the pants, and I let out a tiny moan. 

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I feel like it,” he purred into my neck. “It feels good, doesn’t it?” 

“Someone might come-”

“You know that’s not going to happen.” His fingers found their way to the button of the jeans, and with a flick of his fingers they were open, and his hand was around my dick. “You’re getting excited. You like this, doing it in the open. You like the risk of being caught. You like doing what’s forbidden.” 

He was pumping me, slowly at first but he quickly increased the speed. I only let out a muffled sound. Then, he went from kissing my neck and what he could reach of my collarbone, and descended down in front of me. I didn’t understand why I was in this situation at all, but before I had any more time to think about it, his warm lips wrapped around me, and he started sucking rapidly. All worries aside, it felt amazing, he blew like a professional. 

It was over fast, both of us knowing that there were everyday responsibilities to get back to (at least for me). I came in his mouth, and he swallowed like it was his daily job. He got back up, wiped the corner of his mouth, and turned away from me. 

“I think Wednesday will be good for tutoring. I’ll be there at six.” 


	7. Eren IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I updated this, simply because a lot of things happened in my personal life during the last month. I haven't had a moment to myself or to sit down and write this fic. But now things are heading in the right direction (I think?) and I will continue to write. I love this fic (even though it's a piece of shit haha). 
> 
> But in all honesty, it is going to end sooner rather than later. I'm planning at least a couple of more chapters, maybe more. We'll see. 
> 
> I hope you like it and that it was worth the wait. A lot of stuff happens here.

“What do you guys want to do this weekend?” Connie asked at the lunch table, then looked at all the faces surrounding it in turn. 

Most people shrugged and mumbled an “I don’t know.” 

I didn’t respond, I wasn’t even going to join them. I stopped hanging out with these people a long time ago. The only reason I was there now, was because Mikasa had nagged me about tagging along to say hi to the crew, to let them know I was still alive.

“How about we go to the park, hang out and drink a few beers?” Ymir suggested. 

“Are you nuts?” Jean asked her rudely. “It’s freaking cold outside, we’ll freeze to death.” 

“I won’t,” Ymir responded. “I have Christa to warm me.” She put her arm around the smaller girls shoulders jokingly. 

“How about we go to a club?” Sasha said. 

“We do that every week,” Jean complained. “Can’t we do something different for a change?” 

“No one’s got a good idea?” Marco contributed. “Armin?” 

Armin looked up from his biology book, and gave a look of displeasure. “A movie?” was all he offered. 

“That’s a great idea,” Ymir exclaimed. “No one can see me feeling up my little darling in the dark.” 

“Going to the movies with you guys is so annoying. None of you can shut up so we’ll essentially pay way too much for a film we won’t even be able to watch.” 

Although _hate_ would be a strong word to use, I really disliked Jean. His attitude pissed me off, and seemingly nothing was ever good enough for him. I decided then to join the conversation. 

“Well, horse-face, since none of these proposals can fulfil your desires, why don’t you come up with something?” 

He sent me an ugly glare. “Look who decided to finally butt in at his convenience. Well, as a matter of fact, I do have a great idea. We should go to that new burger place downtown. What do you think, Mikasa?” He looked over at my sister, which was weird enough, as if none of the others’ opinions mattered. 

“Sounds like fun,” she replied. It was all settled like that. Mikasa looked over at me. “You should come too, Eren.” 

“Nope,” I said before she had barely finished the sentence. 

“Why not, it will be great to have you there,” Armin said. 

“I’m not going.”

“Leave him alone,” Jean said. “If he wants to mope around with his stoner friends then let him. He would just kill the party anyway.” 

“That’s not true,” Mikasa said, and sent a disappointed look towards the twat. 

“He doesn’t even want to be there. He’s obviously feeling superior to all of us in the group, as if he’s better than us or something. But we all know the truth; he’s nothing but a loser.” 

I didn’t bother to come up with a reply, I didn’t make an angry face or anything. I simply got up from the table, and walked away. Jean’s insults wasn’t worth my time or energy. 

“Look at that, he’s even running away because he knows I’m right.” 

I could hear Mikasa give some worthless excuses in my defence behind me, but I honestly couldn’t care less. In the hallway outside of the cafeteria, I heard footsteps behind me, and turned around to see Armin had followed me. 

“What do you want?” I asked him bluntly. 

“Jean doesn’t mean those things you know, he just doesn’t know how to interact with you.” 

“I don’t give a crap about that guy.” 

“Don’t say that,” Armin pleaded. 

I couldn’t meet his gaze, so I stared emptily into the glass doors behind him. 

“We’ve known each other since we were kids, why can’t we all just get along?” 

I was about to give him some half-assed answer, when something caught my eye through those doors. In the corner of my eye, I saw Mikasa, who had changed seats, now sitting next to Jean. She was looking at him and talking with a serious look on her face, and had her hand on top of his. 

“What the fuck is that?” I said, feeling the anger starting to boil in me. 

“What?” Armin turned around to find the source of my confusion. “Oh, you didn’t know? Mikasa and Jean are dating.” 

_“What?”_

“Just ask her yourself,” he said. 

I watched as the entire group got up from the table, preparing to leave, I saw my sister next to the guy I despised, his arm now casually around her waist. And I couldn’t stand the sight.

Before I knew it I had marched back in, grabbed Jean my the collar of his shirt, and stood yelling in his face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I screamed. 

Jean tried to pull my hands of him, but my grip was locked into the fabric of his clothing.

“Calm down, will ya? What’s your fucking problem, Yeager?” 

“Keep your hands off my sister, for god’s sake!” I released him with a forceful push, and he took a few seconds to rub his neck, but remained in my sight. 

“I can do whatever the fuck I want to, and so can she, you’re not the boss of anyone. Who are you to come in here, acting as you own the fucking place?” 

“Eren.” Mikasa’s arm was on my shoulder, she was trying to calm me down, but I rejected her. 

“No, I won’t accept this. Of all the guys in the world, _this_ is the one you choose to hang around? He’s a fucking dick, the worst of the worst.” 

I was talking to Mikasa, but I kept my eyes on Jean the whole time. He only smiled cockily back at me. 

“I disagree. I mean, at least she’s not dating some low-life like _you_.” 

And then I punched him in the face. My fist hit the side of his jaw, and he stumbled backwards, trying to stay on his feet. 

“You fucking asshole!” I shouted. “Stay away from her, I tell you!” 

I received a punch back, right in the cheek. 

“You have no right to tell me what to do!” he yelled back. 

One punch became two, and soon he knocked me off my balance, but I wouldn’t let him escape. I grabbed him by the legs so he fell over, and climbed on top of him to deliver some more hits to his face. He grabbed my shirt with extreme power, and wrestled his way around so he was on the top. I copied his move, and soon we were just a messy clump on the floor trying to strangle each other. All I could think in that moment was that I wanted to beat the shit out of him, I ignored everything else. Until someone grabbed a hold of my shoulders and pulled me off Jean, and I was brought back to reality. 

There were lots of people around now, the commotion had gathered at least half the school; there were whispers and not so subtle insults in the air. I heard Hanji yelling behind Jean, she was the one who had grabbed him, while I jerked lose from Erwin’s grip behind me. 

“You two will have to come with me,” he said calmly, but the tone of his voice was clear; he wasn’t happy. 

I followed Erwin to his office without a word, refusing to meet the disappointed looks on my sister and Armin’s faces, and before I knew it I was placed in a chair next to Jean in front of Erwin’s desk. 

“Fighting is strictly against the school rules,” he said. “I should call your parents.” 

I snorted. 

“What’s so funny, Yeager?” Jean snapped at me. 

“You can’t do that, Erwin, we’re already eighteen. Besides, they’re not gonna do shit.” 

“And so I’m aware. What I can do, however, is give you both a three days suspension, and if this ever happens again, I will permanently expel you.”

I laughed openly at this. “You call that a punishment? I’ll be happy for an excuse to get out of this shit-hole. You may have just made my day.”

“Shut up, Eren!” Jean shouted. “You may not care about anything but yourself but others actually come to school because they want to accomplish something. And because of you, I’ll have this on my damn record.” 

“You’re right. I’m sure Mikasa has enough reason to dump you now that you’re a delinquent like me.”

“Don’t fucking compare me to a slum like you, you-”

_“That’s enough.”_ Erwin’s voice interrupted our quarrel, and we both shifted our gazes to him. “Mr. Kirschtein, you may leave. I expect you back after your three days of suspension are over. Yeager, you stay here.” 

I thought Erwin was going to give me some long and boring speech about getting my shit together, but instead left the room with Jean. I remained alone in the empty office. I sat there, tapping my foot and furrowing my forehead for a few minutes, until I heard new footsteps outside the door. 

_“Talk to him, will you? It seems you’re the only one who has made any progress with him.”_ There was some more mumbling but I couldn’t quite catch the words. And then the door opened, but I didn’t need to turn around and look in order to know who was standing behind me. 

“What happened in the cafeteria, Eren?” Levi asked me. 

“Jean was being his usual dickhead, only I was extra pissed off today.” 

He took a few steps towards me, and suddenly he stood over me, looking down. I glared up at those dark, emotionless eyes, and felt anxiety build up in me. I couldn’t explain it, but all the anger in me was replaced with a feeling I couldn’t put my finger on, a feeling of comfort. I shifted my head to the other side so I wouldn’t have to look at my teacher. 

“Violence is never the answer.” 

“What the fuck do you know?” 

“A lot. Trust me.” 

“Just leave me alone.” 

“Eren...” Levi hesitated, but placed a palm gently on my shoulder, before continuing. “I understand there’s some conflict going on with you and Kirschtein, but you shouldn’t let it come to this. You don’t have to like the guy, but don’t take your feelings out on him. It’s not worth it.”

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to do with all this anger?” I spat through gritted teeth. My eyes stung, but I refused to let the tears fall. 

“You have to learn to control yourself. Talk to someone.” 

I snickered. “As if.”

“I know I’m not someone who should be saying this, I’m not the best alternative, but if it ever comes to a point... Just, what I’m trying to say is, call me. You can come to me. I’d rather you do that than beat up innocent kids.” 

I didn’t say anything. Levi did what was his job, he said these things because he didn’t want trouble on school grounds, and he knew that I knew he did that. He knew that I knew he didn’t give a flying fuck about _me_. As soon as I had this thought, I pushed it away, as far into my mind as possible. No, I didn’t even _want_ him to care, so why was I so emotional all of a sudden? And as if he had read my thoughts, he sat down on the floor at my side, and placed his hand on my knee, and while I still refused to look at him, he said 

“No, scratch that. If you have any problems, any trouble, if you need not to be alone, come to me, not because of the well-being of others, do it for you. For yourself, Eren.” 

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Levi got back to his feet, and walked over to the door. “Anyone can help you, Eren, but only if you take the first step. And remember, you can call me any time you feel like it.” Then he left. 

 

I didn’t return to school after that. Not after three days, not after a week, not after two weeks. I spent my days at Annie and Reiner’s flat, getting drunk and fooling around. I found my self in a permanent state of oblivion, and it was blissful. I didn’t bother to think about anything, I didn’t bother to worry about school or friends or even myself.

Mikasa had tried to approach me the morning after my fight with Jean, wanting to talk things out with me, but I ignored her and left the house and her. No one tried to contact me after that. Not Mikasa, not Armin, not my parents, not Levi. Not that I expected anything from any of those people. They didn’t owe me anything, and that was a comforting thought. Surely, they were aware that getting involved with me would cause unnecessary trouble for them, and so everyone stayed away, just like it should be. However, just as all things come to an end, so did my delightful days of nothingness. 

“Eren.” Annie called me from the sofa. I was lying in the chair next to it, staring emptily at the tv screen, where an old 90’s show reruns had been going all day. 

“What is it?” I asked her, not taking my eyes off the screen. 

“Reiner and I are leaving on Thursday. We’re going back for Christmas.” 

“And?” 

“You have to go home.” 

I finally looked over at her. She was being serious, not her usual carefree self. 

“Why can’t I just stay here? Water your plants or whatever.” 

She sighed. “We’re worried about you. You should spend some time with your family.” 

I snorted. “I get it. You want me out. Gone.” 

“We like you, Eren, but you need to fix your issues. Pretending like they don’t exist isn’t going to get you anywhere. You can’t keep this up forever.” 

And with that, I got up without another word, and left her flat. I didn’t look back. 

 

The days got longer. At home I stayed in my room, only to be continuously bothered by my mother, and scolded by my father at the dinner table for not going to school. Mikasa was rarely at home, she always did some after-school activities. Sometimes I imagined she was out with Jean, and it made me shudder. 

There was no fun in getting drunk or high alone. There was no fun in solitude. My bed was a prison, a place I spent the days mindlessly wasting away. On the last day of school before the Christmas break, Mikasa did enter my room and asked me if I wanted to join her. I was half asleep, and groaned a big no into my pillow, and she left. She didn’t bother to nag anymore, she was slowly giving up on me, just like everyone else. And as I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I realised it hurt. 

Armin texted me that afternoon to ask if I wanted to hang out. It was a rare invitation, but I ignored it. It was simply out of habit that I did so, because I would have liked nothing else but to get out of my damn house. Still, I stayed put. Until the next day, that is. 

 

The house was empty during the day, but even Mikasa came home early that evening. The atmosphere around the dinner table was strained, more than usual. I didn’t know why, neither did I care. I simply ate as quickly as I could so I could leave the room. But before I had the chance to get up from my seat, my dad called me. 

“Eren.” 

I didn’t look at him. “What is it?” I asked rather passive-aggressively. 

“It’s about time you make up your mind. If you continue to skip your classes, you’re going to have to find a job instead. I won’t allow you to keep going like this.” 

Mikasa played around with the food in front of her, but didn’t eat any of it. She stared gloomily down at her plate, and stayed silent. I figured she had known this was coming, but clearly didn’t want to take part of it. My mother looked bewildered from me, to Mikasa, and finally to dad, but she didn’t say a word either. 

“Are you hearing me, Eren?”

I didn’t answer. 

“We won’t give you any more money. You are a disgrace to this family, to your sister.” 

I looked over to meet Mikasa’s eyes for the first time in weeks. They were full of fear and disappointment. 

“You can’t go on like this.” 

“I can do whatever I want.” I meant to say it loud and forcefully, but it came out a whisper instead. 

“What was that?” my father demanded. “You think you can keep living under my roof the way you do? I am so tired of your behaviour, it makes me sick. You better clean up your act or I won’t allow you to live here anymore.” 

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh, darling?” my mother suggested. 

“No. Things here are going to change. You are to stop seeing these ‘friends’ of yours. You are to get your ass back to school and graduate or I will send you to work at Hannes’ factory. I won’t tolerate your uselessness any more. Do you understand me?” 

I hated the way he made me feel shameful and worthless, as if I didn’t have any value at all. Perhaps it wasn’t far from the truth. But I wouldn’t face it. I stood up and walked out of the room without saying a word. I snatched my jacket in the hallway, and slammed the door as I walked outside. I could hear the voices rising behind it, my family members falling into loud discussion. I would not take part of it. 

I walked for a long time. It was cold. For the first time I considered if maybe I was depressed after all. But I wasn’t unhappy with my life, just the people in it. I was sick of bastards like my dad, and Jean, and I didn’t want to have to deal with them. I didn’t want to deal with anything. I ended up in front of an apartment building I hadn’t seen in weeks. It was probably the place I had spent the most time except for Annie’s flat and my parents’ house. I looked up towards the door I knew led to his place, and I contemplated what to do next. I could simply leave, walk away, and never look back at that plain white door and the person living behind it, go on with my pathetic excuse for a life and god knows where I would end up. I imagined I would get into heavy drugs, eventually. Or I could, for once in my life, reach out to someone. I didn’t know if he cared. He probably didn’t. It was all part of his job, to take care of his students. But there was no other person I had ever considered going to in a moment like this. 

I picked up the phone from my pocket, and called his number. My heartbeat increased as I listened to the sound of dialling. Until someone picked up on the other side. 

_“Hello?”_


	8. Levi IV

The only thing I liked about Christmas was that I didn’t have to see the students for an extended period of time. Those little bastards were gone from my sight for about two weeks, and I could live my life in peace. And solitude, but that was another thing. I never went to see my parents, since we weren’t talking anymore, and I had no friends to speak of. All I did was exist. So it was quite surprising to hear my phone ring one lazy evening after having opened a can of beer and placed myself in front of the tv. My heart sank when I saw who it was too. Eren Yeager. In my mind, I had given up on that kid. He had disappeared from the face of the Earth for weeks, and I honestly thought he had finally messed himself up to a point of no return. I was hesitant to reply, I couldn’t imagine what he would want at a time like this. But I picked up nevertheless. 

“Hello?” 

There was a pause of silence, neither of us quite sure what exactly to say. “Hey, Levi... what are you up to? Are you at home?” 

“Where else would I be, Eren?” 

“Sorry, I was just wondering...” 

The change in his behaviour was unnatural, he sounded almost nervous. Which was weird, not like him at all. “What do you want?” I demanded. 

“I just, well, wanted to ask if I could come over or something.” Another pause. 

In my mind, I went back to our meeting at the rooftop, where he had almost forcefully blown me off. I was hesitant, not wanting to repeat a mistake like that. I was about to tell him it was a bad idea, but he continued talking. 

“I don’t mean to bother you, really, it’s just, I don’t have anywhere else to go.” 

And then I remember what I had told him in the office all those days ago, and I realised that maybe, finally, for the first time, Eren Yeager was reaching out to someone. Unfortunately and ironically enough that someone was me. I sighed. 

“It’s fine, go ahead. I’m not doing anything anyway.” 

He hung up, and less than two minutes later I heard the doorbell. “Well that was quick,” I said as I opened the door for him. 

“I was kinda right outside,” he explained. 

I went over to the fridge and got a beer for him. He took it and sat down on the couch. 

“Did something happen?” I asked. 

“Not really. I mean, yeah, but nothing out of the ordinary. My dad threatened to kick me out. My girlfriend actually did.” He took a sip of his beer, and stared at the tv screen for a long time. We didn’t talk, quite frankly, I didn’t even know what to say. I wasn’t good at comforting people. After some time, he turned his head towards me and looked me directly in the eyes. “I don’t know how to fix my life.”

“I would tell you to come back to school, but right now I don’t think that’s the best idea.” 

“I know I need to figure it out. I can’t stay like this forever. My dad wants me to send me to the next town over to work a shitty job.” 

“And what do you want, Eren?” 

He took a long time to reply, probably thinking of an answer to give. “I don’t know.” 

“That’s perfectly normal at your age.” 

He looked surprised. “It is? But Mikasa is going to med school and Armin wants to study chemistry or some shit. Everything seems pretty clear to them.” 

“And what about your other friends?” 

Eren scowled at me. “I don’t have any friends.” 

“Oh sorry, my mistake. What about the other dickheads in your class?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t fucking care.” 

“Well I do know, since it’s part of my job to give them career guidance and write references for those little shits, and I can tell you that at least two thirds of them are shitting their pants about their future. They don’t know what they want to do either.” 

“But how are we supposed to find out?” 

I shrugged. “Think about it. Try out new things, get a part-time job to see if you’re any good. Read, do research, evaluate your strong sides. Talk to people, hear out their stories and learn from their experiences. Give it time. It takes time to make such an important decision.” 

“And in the meantime?” 

“Pass your damn exams. Just graduate high school, for god’s sake. I know you can do it if you put your mind to it.” 

“It might be too late.” 

“No, it’s not. You don’t have to come to the school. We’ll continue the tutoring. It will work.”

“Do you really think so?” 

“Yes.”

Eren went quiet after that, maybe he was thinking, or maybe he tried not to. We watched some movie from the 90s that was on, had a few more beers, and then he fell asleep right next to me on the couch. When I finally decided to get some myself, I picked up a blanket and gently threw it over his body. He looked tired, which was ironic enough, seeing as he had probably spent all his days sleeping lately. He was ridden by nightmares I assumed. Not literally, but the fear of dealing with life haunted him so clearly. But behind the young and tormented face, I could also see potential. He had the possibility to become a man some day, and I wanted to make sure that happened. I didn’t understand why this seemingly random student’s future suddenly meant so much to me, but apparently it did, and I had to live with that fact whether I accepted it or not. 

 

The following few days, Eren Yeager stayed in my apartment. It was obvious he had some trouble with his family, and I knew all too well how it felt to have to return to a home like that, so I let him stick around. I made sure to put him to use though. He helped me clean, get the groceries, and I even got him to study some maths. Of course he complained constantly, but I didn’t give a fuck. 

It was strange to have another person around, I wasn’t used to it at all. Wherever I went Eren was present, and at all times. Sometimes I just had to lock myself in my room for some quiet, quality time alone, but somehow I never stayed there for long. Somehow, another person’s company didn’t bother me as much as it used to. Maybe it was just with Eren. He was funny, sometimes more than I wanted to admit. He could make me chuckle, something I hadn’t done in years, and he never took my insults seriously. We simply got along well, possibly because of our similarities when it came to life. We had both experienced similar situations within our families, and we were also pretty different than “normal” people when it came to our ways of thinking. And we definitely had the same kind of humour (which was essentially making shit jokes and talk crap about other people).

Eren didn’t go home even on Christmas Eve. So we stayed in, got pissed on rum and whiskey, and ended up in my bed again. I could barely remember any of it, but I knew he had slammed his lips desperately onto my face, licked my neck, and we had taken it to the next room. Honestly it didn’t bother me anymore. Never in my entire career had I slept with a student, but Eren was barely my student anyway. Besides, he was a great fuck. 

As good as it felt to get my mind off of life for a while (or maybe get my mind onto something for once), Eren wasn’t going to stay around forever. I didn’t even have to ask him to leave, he did it on his own. One day, close to New Year’s, he got up from the couch and announced he was going back to his parents’ place. “I have some stuff to do,” he said. We both knew it was bullshit, Eren Yeager didn’t have shit to do with his life, but I didn’t protest. 

So I entered the new year in a highly intoxicated state, alone in my flat and without a care in the world. It was pity drinking in its purest form. Except I wasn’t pitying myself, not really. I brought this on myself. My life, was a result of my own actions. I was the one who had shut everyone out till the point where I had no one. And I didn’t do a single shit to try and change this, because there was nothing in my life worth changing for. But I didn’t feel like I needed anyone, because I was fine, in my own weird way. I was alive, teaching little bastards and that was at least some kind of purpose, even if I didn’t give a crap about them. 

 

And a few days into the new year, who else would I have the pleasure of having pounding on my door at six in the morning, completely unannounced, but Eren Yeager in a state of not even mentally present. He was fucking wasted, and perhaps also high, I wasn’t sure, but he spent a good portion of the day puking in my bathroom. The thought of his bacteria spreading all over my freshly cleaned tiles made me cringe, but nevertheless I gave him water and time to recover. It was a painful sight, yet there was nothing I could do for him other than wait. When he finally came to, and began regaining consciousness, I made him a cup of tea and he thanked me uncharacteristically. 

 

The break ended, and far too soon I found myself back in the school, trying to deal with all the hormonal kids. One of the first things I did, was talk to Erwin about a certain kid’s future. Erwin was ecstatic to hear that Eren Yeager had agreed to continue the tutoring, and promised to rearrange my schedule so I would have more time to teach him. Erwin really was the kind of person who’d believe in anyone, no matter how messed up their past was. Always giving second chances. It was kind of inspiring. 

Thus, I ended up doing intensive afternoon studying with Eren, several days a week. It wasn’t bad, he seemed to have gathered some focus over the break, and was determined to pass. I guessed he really had reached the bottom, not getting along with his family, losing his friends, and even his sister didn’t speak to him anymore, so what other way was there to go than up? Somehow I was happy to see that he was finally making an effort to make something of himself.

Things were finally going the right way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol.
> 
> I don't know what to say about this anymore.


	9. Eren V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you will love this chapter. Really. It was quite difficult to write. I planned to make it longer but in the end it turned out like this. Sorry it took me so long. I'm so excited, because it's getting closer to the end now, and I know exactly how it's going to be. I'm so so excited. So yeah enjoy then.

I woke up by the sunlight shining through the white curtains in Levi’s bedroom. It was way too early for me to get out of bed, I could tell by the open door and Levi’s shirt that was still hanging by the wardrobe. He was getting ready for work. It had become a habit, waking up like this. Some nights after a long day of studying, we’d end up having sex. It was a completely platonic arrangement, and we never talked about it after. It suited me well though, because this way I had a place to stay instead of going back to my parents house every night. During the daytime I’d either stay in his apartment or roam the city out of boredom. I hadn’t been to school in weeks, even months. 

Levi walked into the room wearing his jeans but shirtless. I stared at him cockily and raised my eyebrows. “Looking good,” I teased.

He scowled back and grabbed his shirt to put it on. “Are you staying here today?” he asked.

I shrugged. 

“Get some milk,” he said and pulled out some coins from his pocket and put them on top of the drawer. 

“Anything else, master?” 

“Yes. Don’t make a mess of my apartment again because I swear I will kill you.” 

“I hear you.” 

He got out his keys, and threw them at me. “Give them back when I return.” Levi then left the flat, and I went back to semi-sleeping for another couple of hours. 

When I finally decided to get up, I took a shower and had some breakfast while watching tv. I didn’t want to sit inside all day to wait for Levi’s return, so I went outside for a walk. 

It was a beautiful day outside. It was cold, fog escaped my mouth for every breath I took, but the sun was brighter than usual and the layer of snow a little thinner. It was just one of those days that made you _want_ to live. I went down to the city centre, looked into the windows as I walked through the quiet streets. I was standing outside a fast-food place smoking a cigarette and contemplating getting Levi’s milk, when I noticed the sign saying they were looking for people. I tossed the cigarette to the ground, and walked in through the door. 

“Hello, how can I help you?” asked a short teenage girl from behind the counter. 

“Hey, I saw the sign in the window. Is it possible to apply for a job?” 

“Yes, we’re looking. But you have to bring your resume.” 

“Is that all?”

“Yes.” 

“But I don’t have any experience. I haven’t even graduated, I’m still in high school.”

“That’s alright,” she told me. “You don’t need a phD to work here, they just want to make sure you’re not completely illiterate, and serious about wanting the job.” The girl was very friendly, and we chatted a bit about the job, before I left.

After I’d gotten the milk, I returned to Levi’s apartment, and sat down at his laptop. I’d never written a resume before, so I searched it up online. By the time Levi got back, I had managed to put together a paper stating who I was and affirming I had accomplished absolutely nothing in my life. 

“What are you doing?” he asked and looked at the screen over my shoulder. 

“Nothing,” I declared and tried to cover it with my arms. 

“Are you making a CV? I don’t believe it.” 

“It’s none of your business!” I yelled, and felt the blood raise to my cheeks. 

Levi shrugged. “Too bad, I could’ve given you some tips, you know.” 

I leaned back into the sofa, and sighed loudly. “I just saw they were looking for people at a fast-food place downtown. Thought I could try and apply there. Just to keep me going until I graduate.” 

“Well, it’s a start.”

“Can you really help me?” 

He sat down next to me and gestured for me to hand over the computer. “Let me have a look.” 

I hesitantly gave it to him. “It’s embarrassing. I don’t know how to write a resume.” 

“Don’t worry about it, kid. It’s not rocket science. I’ll teach you.”

 

I handed in my application the following morning. By the end of the week, they called me in for an interview, for which Levi gave me instructions on how to behave at. It turned out more like a friendly conversation anyway, and soon enough I was working part-time at the fast-food chain. 

In the beginning there was a lot to take in. A lot to learn. I served the customers and cleaned, I had to be nice even. It was weird. Despite the constant high temperature and sickening stench behind the counter, it wasn’t actually bad. Just different. An entire world opened in front of me. Every day I met all sorts of people. Some were grumpy and rude, others patient and pleasant. I quickly learned to be patient myself, even when I was blamed for things out of my control. People often talked about their days and lives, and I listened to their stories. My colleagues were nice and welcoming, they showed me the procedures and suddenly I was part of a team, for the first time in my life. 

Although I didn’t directly tell my family about the new job, they figured it out when I brought home the t-shirts to be washed, and tried asking questions about it. I never gave answers, I wasn’t on speaking terms with them. But they seemed relieved, and the atmosphere in the house lightened a bit. 

I didn’t go back to school, but Levi tutored me every night I wasn’t working. I mostly did day-shifts, so that meant almost every night. The exams were coming up at the end of May, and he wanted to make sure I passed, so I studied intensely. 

I also suspected he enjoyed our late-night activities. I knew I did. I liked them perhaps a little too much. I found myself thinking about Levi a lot. When working, I’d randomly think of something funny he had said or done, and grin widely, seemingly out of nowhere. I looked forward to our meetings, and I always insisted on having them, even on the weekends. Especially on the weekends, because he was available for entire days then. I loved spending time with him, even if we were just studying. Staying at home was something I avoided as much as possible, but at the same time I didn’t want to disturb Levi by invading his privacy. I had this nagging voice at the back of my mind, telling me I was stealing his time. And it scared the hell out of me every time I tried to justify my own intrusion. It wasn’t even about the sex anymore, sometimes we’d just fall asleep on the couch from watching tv and talking into the night. And I _liked_ it. 

 

“You want to order pizza?” he asked me one evening. I looked over at the man next to me. 

“I don’t think I can take this anymore,” I said to him. Levi evaluated my serious face, trying to interpret it. 

“What do you mean, Eren?” 

“I-” I hesitated. I knew what I was about to say was not okay, it would change everything. But things had already gotten out of hand, ever since that first drunken night we’d been together, and there was no going back now. I had never felt like this in my entire life, and I knew if I didn’t share it with the one person I trusted I would go mad. 

“I want you.” 

“As any other night.”

“No. I... I think I’m falling in love with you.” I looked at him as I spoke the words, stared deep into those dark eyes of his. 

“That’s not funny.” 

“I’m not joking. I know I shouldn’t say this, I know it’s wrong, but we crossed the line of wrong a long time ago. But I don’t care. You’re the only person who has been able to help me in all this time. These aren’t just feelings of gratitude though, I’m sure. I want you.” 

“Eren...” 

I leaned forward and grabbed his arms. “You saw this coming from miles away, didn’t you? Of course you did.” I rested my forehead on his shoulder. “I don’t know how to deal with these feelings anymore. Help me, please.” 

Levi placed a hand on my back, and began stroking it gently. He placed his chin on my head, and we sat there in silence for a while. I bit my lower lip and refused to let the tears come; I was too proud. Still, I think he knew. 

“Don’t worry, brat. This is a part of life as well. There’s not much to do about it, really.”


	10. Levi V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you didn't think I had abandoned this fic. I would never. I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out. Let me know what you think.

I knew the situation I was in was pretty bad. I also knew that it was entirely my own fault that I was in said situation. I should have ended tutoring Eren the minute he crossed the line of what was appropriate. In fact, I never should have started, we’d never had a regular teacher and student relation. But I was digging my grave deeper by the day, and my job and career were at stake now. If anyone ever found out about us, it’d be the end for me. I certainly wouldn’t tell anyone, but I didn’t trust Eren. Although he didn’t have any friends, he was unstable, hormonal, whiny, and difficult, and his actions were unpredictable. Any day he could detonate and regress to his earlier state. But the thing about us, people like Eren and I, is that we like playing it like this. We like taking risks, and our minds are too corrupt to care about the consequences. 

When Eren confessed his feelings, I didn’t believe it. I desperately tried to think of what sort of hidden agenda he could possibly have for saying something like this. He couldn’t actually expect me to take him _seriously_. At the same time, the way he was leaning in, resting on my shoulder, sent shivers through me. Having meaningless sex was one thing, but being intimate with someone like this, was something I hadn’t done in years. It scared me so much I was unable to move. I wasn’t mad, I didn’t hate Eren, and his feelings were only natural. Even if they were real, I still thought he was mistaking them for respect or admiration.

As we sat on the couch, Eren spoke again. “I want you to fuck me.” 

I met his eyes. “What?” I said, confused. 

“You heard me.” 

“Are you sure?” I asked. I don’t know why I suddenly cared so much about his consent, but I didn’t want him to rush into something he might regret. 

Instead of giving me an oral answer, he leaned in a kissed me. His lips were soft, and a little salty, and I found myself drawn into him. It was a passionate kiss, different than the hasty, rushed ones we’d shared before. I was aroused. After all, Eren Yeager was, in this moment, the perfect combination of adorable and sexy. I bent over, pushed him gently down on his back, and ran my hands over his upper body. He reciprocated in a similar manner, letting short moans escape his mouth between the kisses. I pulled of his shirt, and his toned chest was exposed. Why did that kid have to be so damn hot? I ran my tongue over it, and his moans grew louder. He fiddled with the zip on my jeans, but manager to get them down. He grabbed hold of my dick, and started pumping it eagerly. 

“Ngh,” sounds began escaping my own mouth now. “Take it easy, Eren,” I said, and it took every inch of self control I had. I was turned on. I took hold of his hands, and placed them on the edge of my shirt, encouraging him to take it off. He complied, and soon my own upper body was naked in front of him. I leaned down and pressed our bodies together, feeling his erection grind against me, and I kissed him intensely. He removed his jeans on his own accord, he was getting eager now. The only thing still covering him were his bright boxers. I slid them down his thighs as slowly as I could possibly manage, and he whined in agony. 

Then he came in close to my face, and whispered in my ear, “Levi, I need you, now.” 

I couldn’t deny his request, so I placed my fingers carefully on his lips. He willingly took them in his mouth, and sucked forcefully, covering them in a coat of saliva. I sighed heavily in order to try and control my desire. I pulled my hand away from his face, and led it down between his legs instead. “Are you ready?” I asked him. 

“God yes,” he exclaimed, and I inserted the first finger into him. His body shot up against me, and I leaned down to kiss him lustfully again. I inserted a second finger, and took my time bringing them in and out until I hit a seemingly particularly sensitive spot for him. He shuddered against me, and I inserted the third finger, hitting the right spot straight away. 

“Oh my god,” he moaned, and grabbed my shoulders. He bore his fingernails into my back and pulled me in close, and groaned loudly. “I can’t wait,” he said, and to be fair, neither could I, so I pulled off my boxers and positioned myself in front of him. His legs were around my waist, and he practically pulled me in himself. I thrusted into him, slowly at first. But I quickly increased the speed, as it felt _so fucking good_ , and Eren’s screams below encouraged me. With my hand I jerked his raging erection, and he came vigorously with both parts at the same time, and after seeing the look on his face I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. I climaxed, and barely had time to pull out before I collapsed on top of him. We lay like that, our bodies entwined, while our hearts grew closer. 

 

Something had changed now. The aura between us was different, and we spent less time throwing sarcastic insults at each other and more time laughing together. One Saturday afternoon I decided, out of boredom, to go meet Eren at the end of his shift. We hadn’t made any appointment, but I went anyway. He’d spent a couple of nights at his parents’ house, and it felt strange to walk around the flat without having him around. It was quite cold, but I waited outside the back door anyway. When Eren came through it, he looked over at me, with a surprised expression on his face. It turned into a grin. 

“Let me guess, you couldn’t bare to go another day without me,” he said. 

I sent him one of my lethal glares. While I was wearing every single layer of clothing I owned, Eren only had a sweater and a scarf covering his upper body. “How can you not freeze to death like that?” I wondered, and he laughed. 

He was unusually cheerful these days. It was actually kind of cute. “Let’s get some coffee somewhere, I’m completely beat,” he said, and started walking down the street. 

I followed, and Eren started telling me about his day at work, even though I hadn’t asked. At one point, we went quiet, and although awkward silences didn’t exist between us, Eren looked over at me hesitantly. I couldn’t figure out why he seemed so damn nervous. Then, he carefully led his hand towards me, and grabbed hold of my fingers. The kid was trying to hold hands with me. I didn’t push him away, I let him squeeze my hand and we walked on like it was the most casual thing. It was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to write two more chapters (just putting that out there). Also I'll be tracking fic: indifference on Tumblr since that seems to be a thing now. Almost there guys!


	11. Eren VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at four in the morning and it was so much fun! But only one more chapter! It makes me sad! I don't have any new fics planned atm, but we'll see what happens in the future. This has been such a great learning experience for me. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know (:

It was warmer now. The tiny rays of sun that had made it through the window hit my left hand on the kitchen table. The hand felt warmer than the rest of my body, and it was a little uncomfortable. It just didn’t feel right to have all this warmth concentrated in one place only. But I was too sleepy to remove it. What I did instead, was pick up my coffee mug and place it on the sunny side of the table, next to the burning hand. It was silly to think it would make any significant difference, but I did it anyway. Levi came in, newly dressed and his hair damp. He looked slightly more awake than earlier this morning, although his eyelids were still hanging a bit low. He stood by the counter, making himself a sandwich. 

“Let’s get out of here,” I said to his back. 

“I see someone’s nervous today,” he replied. 

I turned my head towards him, facing the sun. “No, I mean out of town. Let’s leave here. Go somewhere new, start over.” 

He still didn’t turn to me as he spoke. “Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“I’m not. It wouldn’t be a problem. You can get another job, I mean, now’s the perfect time. And I don’t have anything holding me here.” 

“Why do you want to leave so bad, Eren?” Levi grabbed a mug from the cupboard and went over to the coffee-maker to pour himself some. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Why _wouldn’t_ I want to leave? My family doesn’t talk to me anymore, I don’t have any friends, all I have is a minimum-wage job. You don’t have anything keeping you here either. I just think it would be nice to go some place where people don’t know us. Somewhere we could just… be ourselves.” 

He turned towards me, while leaning against the counter. The sun in the background made him dark, and I could barely make out his face in the silhouette. I wasn’t sure if he was even looking at me. “You should get going. I don’t want you to be late after all the fucking work I’ve put into you.” 

Even though I had half expected this to be his reaction, I felt annoyed as I walked to school. He still treated me like this sometimes, like a child, whose opinion didn’t matter. I couldn’t possibly understand why he’d reject my proposal, and this only fuelled my annoyance. It seemed like he went against me just for the sake of it. So that he could prove who was the authority here. Or maybe he just didn’t feel like it. Maybe he just didn’t want to go anywhere with me. 

It had always been an idea in my head to leave town as soon as I graduated high school. For a while, I didn’t think I ever _would_ graduate, but I made it to the exam day, so I would damn sure give it my best shot. But leaving town wasn’t as tempting anymore. Of course I hated this place, that part was all true. And I knew I’d survive out there in the world, but somehow, going without Levi seemed so pointless.

I reached the school, found the right room, and sat down in the hall waiting with the other students. I restlessly tapped my foot to the floor. Time was moving slowly. After a few minutes, Mikasa appeared with Jean, and she was clearly surprised to see me. She raised her eyebrows and stared shamelessly at me. I refused to meet her eyes. Jean opened his mouth to say something, probably a snappy remark, but Mikasa hit him in the side. He looked away after that, and they kept whispering between themselves, shooting me glances now and then. I ignored them the best I could.

When the doors opened, I went inside, picked a desk, and sat down. Going through the instructions and rules must have been the most boring thing I did in my life. I was finally handed the paper, and allowed to start working through it. Some of the questions were really hard; harder than what I had practised with Levi. I answered what I could and guessed at the rest. Time went fast now, as opposed to before, and all too soon we were ordered to put down our pens. I got up, went out, and took in the fresh air. Man, that was a tiring task. But it was also surprisingly manageable. I still had four more days of exams, so I decided to go back to Levi’s flat and study some more.

 

On the last day of exams, I sat down outside the school building and looked at it. I watched as all the seniors left, watched their relieved faces and their happy smiles. I shared their happiness, but instead of openly declaring it to the world, I sat there with my hands in my pockets. I didn’t have anyone to share it with anyway. Besides, now there was an ever more frightening question at hand: _what the fuck do I do?_

“Eren.” 

I looked up to the side to see Mikasa standing in front of the bench. We hadn’t spoken in weeks, not even on those rare occasions I went home. “I’m so happy to see you here,” she said. 

I turned my head straight forward and stared emptily in front of me. “I took all the exams,” I told her. 

“That’s great.” 

“I don’t mean to disappoint you, but I probably won’t do as good as you.” 

She chuckled, and put her hand on my arm. “That’s alright.” She looked like she was going to cry, and that made me uncomfortable. “Where are you staying these days, Eren?” 

I looked over at her. I was surprised by her question, because she wasn’t the nosy type. And for all she knew, I could’ve still been on terms with Annie. 

“What do you mean?” I asked her. 

“I just thought, maybe you’d tell me.” 

“What?” I repeated. 

“About your boyfriend.” 

My eyes widened in disbelief, and fear of being exposed. My heart started racing, and I tried desperately to think of an excuse. “What are you talking about, Mikasa?” 

She tightened her grip on my arm a little, and looked at me with sad eyes. “Don’t lie to me Eren. Jean told me he saw you in town holding hands with a guy.” 

I clenched my fists. There it was. The anger came to me like a tight ball of anguish in my chest, and I gritted my teeth. At this point I wasn’t even sure why I was so angry, but I wrenched my arm out of her grasp, and stood up. “It’s none of your business,” I said, and began to walk away.

“Eren, please, don’t be like that. I just want us to be friends. Eren!” Mikasa followed me down the pavement, and I turned around to look directly at her. 

“Leave me alone!” I spat, and stormed off. 

I walked aimlessly around, trying to fight off the tears. To be honest, I was angrier with myself than with Mikasa, just for having pointless feelings like these, and being unable to stop them. And what was worse, was that my ominous premonition had come true. Levi and I could never be public with our relationship (or whatever it was) in a small town like this. 

I yanked my phone out of my pocket, and dialled his number. I knew Levi wasn’t working, most teachers were off due to the exams. When he picked up, I yelled into the phone uncontrollably. “Where the fuck are you?” I demanded. 

“Eren? What’s wrong?” Levi’s voice sounded undisturbed, somehow he was never unsettled by my tantrums. 

“I don’t know!” I went on. I could feel the hot tears streaming down my cheeks now, and the humiliation made me cry even harder. “I just fucking don’t know.” 

“It’s okay, Eren,” Levi soothed from the other end. “Tell me where you are.” 

I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes, and took a look around. There was a park across the street, and I stuttered the name to him. “Can you stay there until I arrive?” he asked. 

I nodded, before realising he couldn’t see me. I murmured a yes through the urge to cry. He hung up, and I crossed the street. The park area wasn’t very big, I could see the other end of it. I walked until I found a bench on the path, placed conveniently under a tree. I sat down, and stared vacantly at the air in front of me. 

I didn’t look at the time, but Levi came surprisingly fast. 

“I was in the area,” he mumbled, but his lack of breath told me he had hurried. I had stopped crying, but surely he could tell from my blood-shot eyes and swollen lids what I had been doing. He sat down next to me, put an arm around my shoulder, and forcefully pulled me in. “Oh, Eren. Life sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?” 

He didn’t yell at me, didn’t complain because I had called him there, didn’t even tell me to stop crying. He simply hugged me tight, and stroke his hand over my head and back. I was so shocked, because Levi had never been physical with me like this, and especially not in public. It struck me for a second that perhaps he was feeling sorry for me, and therefore tried to comfort me, but then I remembered he had himself offered to meet me when I called, then ran all the way here. He didn’t have to do that. But he did, and I finally realised how much he cared about me, and I knew I never wanted to be without him. I weeped into his chest, letting it all out once and for all. When I was done, he took my cheek into his hand and looked me in the eyes. 

“Let’s do it,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, but smiled faintly and nodded. I managed to formulate an agreeing “yes.” He then leaned in, and kissed my lips gently, and I couldn’t remember a time I’d been happier than this. 

We got up, and Levi asked me how the last exam had gone. 

“It was fine, I guess. Not the best, but I think I did some of the questions alright.” 

“We should celebrate. It’s your last day of high school.”

“If I pass,” I added.

“Don’t worry, you will.” He was smiling, a rare sight, and I gorged in the vision. I figured we must have seemed almost like boyfriends now, strolling along the path, holding hands, occasionally grinning at each other. 

We walked down the pavement of a relatively busy street, in order to get back to Levi’s flat. We talked about the future, our ideas and suggestions to what we would do. I almost didn’t see her as we passed by, but her black hair had me turning my head back to check. Mikasa stood across the street. She had her phone to her ear, and gaped at us. I stopped moving. Levi turned around to see what made me do so, and I whispered an “oh shit.” He followed my eyes to see what it was.

Mikasa marched towards us. I jerked my hand out of Levi’s, and turned to make a run for it, but he grabbed my wrist. 

“There’s no use in running,” he said. 

“Are you _serious_?” Mikasa said. Now that she was closer, I noticed the teardrops on her face. Not bothering to wipe them away, that was like her after all. “Out of all the people in the world, you’re seeing _him_ _?”_

“I told you, it’s none of your business.” I turned towards her, but kept my eyes on the ground. 

“Don’t you dare say that to me. It damn sure is my business. If I’d known about this going on, I could’ve prevented it. I knew about Annie, and I thought she was bad enough, but this, Eren, this is crossing the line.” 

I let out a sickening laugh. “Are you kidding me? You lost any privilege to interfere with my love life the minute you started dating Jean.” 

“Don’t you dare compare him to _this._ ” She turned to Levi. “Don’t _you_ have anything to say? What kind of teacher allows this kind of thing to happen?” 

But as he was about to reply, I interrupted. “Keep him out of this,” I protested. 

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Listen to yourself Eren, you’re not making sense.” She took a step closer and grabbed my arm. “Let’s go home, and we’ll fix things.” 

“No!” I yelled as I jolted back. “You can’t tell me what to do, Mikasa. I don’t want anything to do with you!” I turned around and ran. I sprinted away front them both, from the situation, and from the discomfort. 

I ran all the way back to my parents’ house, where I barged in and headed for the bedroom I hadn’t seen in weeks. I grabbed a bag, and started throwing the rest of my clothes into it. 

I could hear the front door slam a second time, and Mikasa’s voice resonated through the house. Soon enough she stood in the doorway, panting. 

“Eren, come on, think straight. You don’t have to do this. We can still fix this!” 

“What the hell’s going on?” My father’s voice came from the living room, but loud footsteps told me he was closing in. He came behind Mikasa, who was still standing in the doorway, and saw me. 

“Son, where the hell have you been? You’re mother was worried sick!” 

I ignored all of them. I went under the bed, pulled out a dusty box and grabbed some parts I refused to leave behind. My mother had also joined the ruckus now, and was whining about how glad she was to see me safe. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” my father asked. When I didn’t reply, Mikasa looked to him. 

“He’s going to his boyfriend’s.” 

“What? Boyfriend?” my mother asked. She didn’t quite seem to fathom the context. 

“Are you telling me my son’s gay?” my father shouted. He was outraged, and a collection of remarks were made at me, but I shut them out. I didn’t want to hear. I closed the bag, threw it over my shoulder, and headed for the door. I had to get out before Mikasa spilled the beans on me. 

“You have to stop him, Dad!” Mikasa begged, while my mother was crying behind her. 

“Get out of my way!” I screamed. 

“Eren-“ 

I interrupted my father. “You can’t tell me what to do! None of you! And you can’t keep me here. I’m done with you, and this place.” 

And with that, I barged out of the house, without looking back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one's going to be Eren's POV as well.


	12. Eren VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crying here guys, it's been such a long journey for me writing this fic. I had so much fun and learned so much, and I appreciate all of you wonderful people who have taken the time to read this. This ending is what I originally wanted to do for my other fic, Take me there, but I didn't because I thought it would be silly to have all fics end the same way. 
> 
> With this I was going to temporarily retire from writing fanfiction, but I might actually work on some Suzaku/Lelouch oneshots in the future. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. Let me know.

I could tell it was going to be a beautiful day already before I opened my eyes. The city was still, there was no sound coming from the outside, no cars on the road, not even birds singing. I stretched my arms and legs, yawning quietly, I was almost afraid to disturb the peace myself. My hands found their way to the body lying next to me. I pulled on the rim of his t-shirt, and brought it all the way up to his chest, so that I could lay my head down on his ribs, and feel his warm skin on my face.

“What the fuck are you doing?” 

I looked up at his face, and smiled. “I’m cuddling you,” I said and stroke my fingers across his exposed flesh. 

He shuddered, and sent me a dissatisfied glare. “You’re a little prick,” he said, and grabbed hold of my shoulder. He pulled me towards him, and I complied. 

I kissed his soft lips gently, and wrapped my arms around his upper body. He pressed himself against me, creating friction between us. I groaned at his teasing, it was unbearable. And yet, I loved it when he was in this mood. It was rare, but exciting. And I knew, that if I played my cards right, I might get a very pleasant morning. 

I left kisses on his face. I started with his forehead, then moved down his nose, sucked gently on his cheek for a bit, and ended up at his chin. I couldn’t stop grinning, and even he seemed to be enjoying himself. I could tell from the smirk on his face, which was a tiny bit more evident than usual. He eagerly placed his hands around my hips, and buried his face in the pit of my neck. He began licking me slowly, just the way he knew I liked it, while rubbing against me. I ran my hands up and down his back, feeling up his behind, and he carefully bit on my collarbone. This made me moan distinctly, which in turn made him more eager. 

He placed a hand between my legs, and stroke my raging boner through the fabric of my boxers. I started getting impatient, but choked back a request, because I knew from experience that patience would be rewarded greater than impatience. 

He was kissing my chest now, taking his time sucking on my nipples, and leaving a trail of saliva. Despite being the greatest clean-freak in the world, he had his messy moments with me. I would most definitely have to take a shower after we finished. My moans got louder and more frequent, and he paused for a second, resting his forehead on my chest. 

“God I love it when you make those sounds,” he said, before finally pulling on the edge of my boxers. 

“Please, I-“ 

“Shut up, brat. Lie still and stay sexy. Just like that.” 

He grabbed hold of my dick, and started pumping his hand up and down, receiving more moans on my end. My fingers found his head, and I ran them through his dark hair and drove my fingernails into his skull. He then lowered himself onto me, taking my erection into his mouth. His tongue swirled around the tip, making me shiver of pleasure, before he started moving in a steady pace. Assisting with his right hand, he sucked hard, and I came into his mouth after only a couple of minutes. He swallowed easily, wiped his mouth, and got up on his knees. 

“Well that was fun,” he said, while smirking towards my flustered face. He started getting up, but I took hold of his arm and pulled him back down on the bed, next to me. “Eren, what are you doing?” 

“Just lie with me for five more minutes,” I pleaded, and put my head on his chest. 

“Do you remember what happened the last time you said that?” 

“No,” I lied, but he just kissed my forehead, and pulled himself away from me. I could feel the lack of warmth on my skin as he disappeared from my touch, and made an unhappy facial expression. 

“I’m not wasting another day in bed. I’m fucking hungry. And I want a cigarette.” He went over to the balcony door, and slid it open. Off the nightstand he grabbed a pack of cigarettes, took one out, and headed for the door. He stood outside it, leaning on the wall, so I could still see his profile through the glass. The door was half open, and I could hear his breath as he inhaled. He was staring distantly in front of him, and for a moment there was no trace of that mean glare he so often sent people. 

“Levi?” I said calmly to him. 

“Yeah?” he responded without looking back at me. 

“Let’s get married.” 

His hand holding the cigarette paused on its way to his mouth, but his expression remained unchanged. After a moment of silence, the hand continued on its path, and he took a long drag. He exhaled with a loud sigh. “Ok,” he said. 

 

Levi left me in the bed to make breakfast. I wasn’t quite ready to start the day yet, so I lied there wallowing in my own happiness. 

In the corner of my eye I saw my phone on the nightstand. For some reason, it made me think of Mikasa. I held up a hand in front of me, and counted on my fingers how long it had been since I last spoke with her. It was almost three years now. 

After I left my family, I changed my number so no one could contact me anymore. Both Levi and I quit our jobs, and moved to a different city. We shared a tiny flat, Levi continuing as a high school teacher, while I worked night shifts as a bartender. It was difficult at first, since our relationship was, although pretty obvious, still unlabelled. We barely saw each other, and most of the times we did it was at four in the morning when I stumbled drunk into the flat after a shift. We would either yell at each other or have angry, frustrated sex. Only once had we suggested breaking up, but that threat was quickly taken off the table, partly because we both knew what a ridiculous option that was, and partly because I cried. 

But the truth was inevitable; we couldn’t function without each other. Without each other, I would just be a delinquent, a problem to society, with no future and nothing to care for, and Levi would be an emotionless, unsociable man, with nothing to live for. The fact was, we made each other better. 

After an endless amounts of sleepless nights, we agreed to turn things around. I got a job at an electronics store, where I, to this day, served customers, as the nice and hospitable guy I had become (after _a lot_ of practise). I enjoyed my job, because I got to spend every day with a team of cool people, all sharing an interest in computers. Levi had left teaching behind, and taken an office job instead. Although we both pretended it was his own choice, we also both knew it had been due to my jealousy and fear that he would find another lover among the students. But he hated teaching anyway, so it worked out for the better. 

After settling into our new jobs, we finally had some time to discover what being boyfriends really meant. A period of experimentation, curiosity, excitement, and learning, followed. This was the period that I truly accepted that Levi and I were in it for the long run. And even if he rarely admitted it, I knew he was equally passionate about us as me. 

Yes, nothing could make me happier on this lazy Sunday morning, I thought. Except there was one thing. I got up from bed, grabbed a cigarette and my phone, and went out on the balcony. I dialled Mikasa’s number, which I had carried in my memory all this time.

“Hello?” I heard her answer, and I felt a rush of relief that she hadn’t changed her number.

“Hey, Mikasa.” 

“Eren?!” she exclaimed. She must have been surprised to hear from me after so long. 

“How are you?” I asked her. 

“I, well, good, I mean, just, are you alright?” 

Poor girl, she was clearly at a loss of words. A smile spread across my lips. “I’m sorry I haven’t called,” I said as I looked up towards the sky. “I’ve had a lot of soul-searching to do, I guess. But I’m doing pretty great now.” 

“I’m so happy to hear from you,” she said. She was probably crying. “I miss you.” 

“Yeah, I miss you too,” I told her, and I meant it. She was my sister, after all.

After a short silence, I heard her take a deep breath, before popping the question. “Are you still seeing Levi?” 

“Yeah,” I said. She didn’t say anything else, she didn’t get upset or scream at me. 

“How about you?” I asked. “Are you still seeing Jean?” 

“Yes,” she said. 

“I see. That’s great.” I took a drag from the cigarette, before Mikasa spoke again. 

“I lied. We broke up a few months after starting uni.” 

“Ah,” was all I could say, but I guess in my heart I was a little pleased to hear this. “I didn’t though. Lie, I mean.” 

“I know,” Mikasa said. 

“We’re pretty serious,” I continued. 

“That’s great, Eren.” She did sound happy for me. “I’d love to meet up some day, grab a coffee. With Levi too, but mostly you.” 

“I’m sure we can arrange something,” I told her. 

“It really is good to hear from you. I love you, Eren.” I could hear she was crying now.

“Thank you,” I said to her. I felt a little bad for having her tears wasted on me, but I had always known her love for me was unconditional. 

And as I stared into the horizon, it hit me Levi was right to give it the attention. It truly was sublime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit when I first started writing this fic I considered actually having one of the characters die in an accident or something. But I just couldn't do it, because I love them so much! Bless my babies. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading! I love you all.


End file.
